"Open Up And Say AAaaaAhhHhh"

Disturbing Truth

2008-07-31T16:54:00.005+08:00

We found out that Yuki did not eat any of the medicine given by the doctor. She gathered all the medicines and placed it in one big bottle. She knew she was going and she gave up her life. Her biujie ( cousin sister ) also found her diary. She left a last note, particularly for three peoples that she loved the most - me, her dad and her biu jie ( cousin sister ).

Her last words to me, I'll just summarize it :
1) Not to get angry with her decision and live life to the fullest.
2) She loves me more than anyone.
3) She broke her promises but wished she would be my kid in her next life and hold her hands as she knows I will be a good father and a good husband.
4) She wished I will not be cheated again and will marry my love one.

I couldn't stop my tears running down while I was talking with her biujie. I broke down when I heard all these stuff and cried in the office. Thankfully my superior understands my situation and let me have a day off. She doesn't simply spend her money, she donated most of her money to the old folks home and orphanage organization. There was once she came back to Malaysia for vacation and she spent all the money given by her Dad to the old folks home. RM50 in every angpow she gave to the old folks, imagine there were like 40 old folks there. There is nothing much I can do for now but as her brother, I would like to ask everyone that knows her to pay a last respect at http://yukilee-qi.last-memories.com/

A Moment Of Silent

2008-07-31T02:19:00.002+08:00

I'm not gonna write anything today even my birthday reflection plan. My little sister Yuki passed away of leukemia today. I couldnt believe that the person I had looked up to had gone, I didnt even have the chance to say good bye to her. I will always remember her smile and voice. She will always be in my heart. She will always be remembered for her loving spirit, energy and unshakable faith.

I fell apart when I got home. I can't express how bad I feel. I feel like someone ripped my heart out of my chest. Now I know what those nitemares that have been haunting me lately are trying to tell me. This would be the fourth time I am getting hints from nitemare. My God mother, grandpa, my mentor and now my little sister Yuki. When somebody gets close to me, I treated them with my heart - sincerity. I don't know if this is a good thing but every time when I fall and tried to climb back, I would just fall again - even deeper. Shits always come together in a big pile. Have I not gone through enough shits for the past few weeks?

The last conversation I had with her was more than a month ago. She went through her first chemo and wanted to commit suicide due to excessive pain and hair lost. I told her to buck up and keep herself alive no matter how tough it will be. I told her she has many things to do when she is back on track. I asked her to promise me a few things. Promise me to go out with me and my future wife, promise me to hold my kids hand while I'll be holding my future wife's hand when we are shopping, promise me to have a family photo with my future wife and kids and promise me to let me interview her boyfriend. I know all these promises can never be fulfilled anymore.

Memory Lane - Reflection Of My Life ( Day 15 )

2008-07-30T13:20:00.012+08:00

Day15 - Age of 15.
I spent 2 years ( Form 1 & Form 2 ) in the afternoon session and this year around in Form 3, it's gonna be in the morning - meaning I have to get my ass up early in the morning. I remember clearly I was very actively involved in chess when I was in high school.

Assholes in my class

Cameron Highland trip with other schools ( we are so fuxing naive when we were young)

Thing(s) I did on Day 15.
Reflecting Day15 - Age of 15 by "having a good chat with dad". I haven't really spoke to my dad for a long time, and I mean really sit down and have a good chat. I took the opportunity tonite and talk with my dad. It’s been awhile since we have had one of those conversations. And we digress into the stupid like the one long standing debate over my birth. It is one of those family things you always revisit just because it makes you smile. He sounded really good too. I forget sometimes how much our lives spill into each other.

Remember during our grandfather’s time, a good husband is someone who was responsible towards the family and this focused on financial support for the wife and kids. A husband was not expected to clean, cook, babysit or listen to the woman’s complaints. Even for my dad, this is also largely true. He did not need to lift a finger to help my mom and yet, for his generation he is still considered a good husband because he provided for the family. My dad has 4 brothers and 2 sisters, he is the eldest. He stopped schooling at a very young age and he has to work to support the family. My dad was a tall and well-built chap, unlike me skinny but slightly handsome than him lol. We had a good chat really, from how dad gets to know mum ( they actually got to know each other from friends ), how dad used to wake up in the middle of the nite due to people walking up and down on the stairs ( he was sleeping under the stairs in those 2 storeys shop house ) and he was in the school basketball team. Dad told me he used to have a lot of admirers, you know when you are in a school basketball team, you are the in-thing. Oh well, this is where the calculation between me and dad started. My immediate respond was "Pa, your son did a better job than you" and he looked at me pointing his finger at mum who's busy eating and watching her Hong Kong drama.

As dad was preaching his summon I looked at him and I noticed his hairs have all turned white, he is not as fit as last time - getting skinnier and wrinkles all over his face. The last time I had a good look at him he was still very much younger and stronger, I guess I hadn't really talk with him for a long time. Dad is really old. Regardless of my age, he will always be my dad and I will always be his little son. Whether Dad is a prime minister or a rock star, he is always there for us. Dad taught us the true meaning of respect and how to earn it and he always lectured me not to cry, a true hero doesn't drop a tear. Walan, sounds damm heroic rite but I have never seen my Dad cried before - even the lost of my grandparents.

It is frightening to envision life without Dad but I know he will go one day. I can recall being walloped by Dad and when I grew older, I know that it was an act of love. I cherish the time spent with Dad while he taught us the necessary principles of life. He was proud of us, and he and Mum knew they had created something very special when they made the three of us. I am so grateful that you came into our lives. You were a wonderful father and a wonderful husband to my mom. Thank you for being my dad.

Memory Lane - Reflection Of My Life ( Day 14 )

2008-07-29T01:06:00.005+08:00

Yesterday before I went to sleep, I wished I wouldn't drool off with nitemare again. Fux it came back again last nite, and this time it's even worse. I could strongly feel some shit is gonna happen soon, to me or someone who is fuxing close to me. I got up and could feel my whole body numbed and I could even feel the presence of "something", know what I mean. Something or someone was there, I could feel it. I got back to sleep and the nitemare came back again. Just when I got up again, that "something" or "someone" was there again. It repeated twice. Something is gonna happen but I don't know what it is.

Anyway, decision time again. I've been offered a job in Miami. Yah Miami bitches and beaches! I was so fuxing excited and this job came at the right time. At the time when I needed a change so desperately, I was landed with this offer - perfect! The problem is leaving my family and friends. I've felt something was missing that I needed to do for a long time and even though I've more than most in my life, I feel real antsy and seem to keep constantly looking for something. By going I'm not sure I would lose more than I would gain or if it would make me stronger and be something good. I gotta fly over soon for an interview and if everything goes well, I should be rolling over in about 2 1/2 months from now. Go or no go? The money would put me in an awesome financial position but again, I'm gambling with my life.

Day14 - Age of 14.
High school is all about gangsterism. Those kids feel that if they are called to belong to a group or gang, they will get the recognition they don't find anywhere else. Like anybody else, these children also want to prove that they are good at something. They fight about minor things - maybe there is shoving or staring. And those bloody battle normally involved flying chairs & tables, bricks, bottles, screwdrivers, sticks and anything that they can grab. I don't deem them gangsters. They're more like pricks who are small and are eager to prove their worth. But then again, we all live in fear everyday. Fearing somebody unknown approaches us for money. Fearing that we will get our ass kicked for some unknown reason. So face it, whenever there is light, there is also darkness. And by the way, I go to Sunday school ;)

Thing(s) I did on Day 14.
Reflecting Day14 - Age of 14 by "doing good deeds". I drove up to Cheras to fetch a Singapore friend down to my place. Got him a place to stay and gave him some cash to survive ( not for long though ). He came down empty handed, with not much money in his pocket and he has been sleeping in the cybercafe for almost a week. Now I look like a fuxing saviour. Regardless of all these shits, I feel better after helping him - AT LEAST I did something to help his ass out.

Memory Lane - Reflection Of My Life ( Day 13 )

2008-07-28T01:00:00.004+08:00

Day13 - Age of 13.
The night before the first day of high school, I couldn't sleep. I was too busy worrying. It's gonna be the first day putting on a dark green color school pant ( dark green for secondary school and dark blue for primary school ). I worried about how I would find my classes, where the fux I'm gonna eat, where the fux I'm gonna piss and blah blah blah. I suppose I was very naive when I started high school, neat nerd hairstyle like "Dou San" ( Chow Yuen Fatt in the movie God Of Gambler ). I got in to my class and fortunately, many of them are from the same primary school and I have no problem adapting and talking with them. At the end of the day, I was just happy that it was over.

Thing(s) I did on Day 13.
Reflecting Day13 - Age of 13 by "reading back 'semarak' my school magazine". I was laughing like an ape when I saw how small and naive we all used to be.

I wanted to write more but my body doesn't allow me. I have so many things to write, so many people to thank for being so supportive during this torturing period and last but not least, my trip to Miami soon. I hope the nitemare wont hunt me tonite.

Memory Lane - Reflection Of My Life ( Day 12 )

2008-07-27T14:13:00.009+08:00

Notes: Double post. I updated with 2 entries, scroll down for Day 11 post.

I was driving to work today when suddenly I passed an asshole cop that gave me the finger AKA the bird! I look at this cop while I'm driving by, and he lifts his hand to his window and gives me the one finger salute. Nia ma cb wtf. He is doing this probably he couldn't take the pressure of me testing his alpha male manhood by tail gating him. But too bad for him, he couldn't chase up with my car. If anyone flipped off a cop, chances are that they'd get pulled over and harassed, but if the tables are turned it seems like everything is just fine. I'm going to make a huge sign that says "Pu Nia Boh" and flash it to every cop I see from now on. These bastards have too much power. On top of that, they get honored left and right for enforcing bullshit laws that take away our rights, and they keep getting more laws passed to take away even more rights. If there isn't anything for them to do, they shouldn't resort to digging up things to get someone in trouble for. They should go around neighborhoods sniping people's dogs. Stupid dogs always barking and shitting all over the place. They drool, harbor bugs and disease. Filthy, disgusting, stupid.

Day12 - Age of 12.
Final year in primary school and I can remember clearly during this last year everyone was so eager to go in high school EXCEPT for some emo girls and guys who actually cried on the last day of school. Wtf dude, we are gonna go wear the green long pant ( we wore dark blue short pant in primary school ) for fux sake! We should be happy that we are going to high school and kick some ass. Remember those autograph book? You know what I'm talking about if you are the 90's kid when we don't have friendster, Facebook or email. Everyone will have an autograph book and we will go around asking everyone to write some shits on it. Shits profile like your name, address, contact number, length of your dick, your boob size, etc.

Thing(s) I did on Day 12.
Reflecting Day12 - Age of 12 by "attending my company annual dinner". Two words to describe it - FUXING DRUNK!

Memory Lane - Reflection Of My Life ( Day 11 )

2008-07-26T14:37:00.004+08:00

Day11 - Age of 11.
Life without commitment, without worries, without headache. Remember the time when all we need to do is just wake up in the morning, go to school, kick some ass in school, do homework, see TV, play, shit and sleep.

Thing(s) I did on Day 11.
Reflecting Day11 - Age of 11 by "doing good deeds". Being a driver for a friend the whole nite.

Memory Lane - Reflection Of My Life ( Day 10 )

2008-07-25T16:59:00.008+08:00

Day10 - Age of 10.
Was drunk like shit to update last nite, anyway here's the shit. I would say this is the year where everything started. Imagine from the age of 10 - 18 8 fuxing years of chess. Throughout these whole fuxing 8 years, I'd been representing my school, states and country for this game we all call Chess. Game for nerds but I'm not one.

Thing(s) I did on Day 10.
Reflecting Day10 - Age of 10 by "Drinking like shit".

Memory Lane - Reflection Of My Life ( Day 9 )

2008-07-24T00:49:00.014+08:00

The nitemares have started again. I lie awake for hours, petrified of going to sleep. When I finally do sleep, it's more like I drift off into this funny semi-conscious, semi-paralyzed state. And then it begins.

So anyhow, I began to have the same nitemare again last nite. I was speeding and all of a sudden this big motherfuxing lorry banged me on the side, my car banged the divider, flipped off and I landed at the other side of the road. I was already dead when my car touches the ground. I couldn't wake up. Couldn't breathe once again. I can't explain it. I can't explain any of this except that I don't want to fall asleep tonite. I dread every hour that passes. I'm exhausted, but I can't take a nap right now.

I’ve been thinking that I’m going to die soon. I haven’t really told anyone about my nitemares. They’d probably just think I was being paranoid or something. I am a little more paranoid than most, granted, but seeing the same fuxing nitemare like 10 times? I don’t know, this is my very first time. Maybe I’m subconsciously looking for a way out, a way that I don’t have to take my own life, a way that maybe, somehow, fate would take care of business for me. You believe in fate?

For the longest time, I’ve thought that I’ve had some kind of recessed prophetic ability. Not like Uncle Moses or anything but just that I have the ability to somehow see or feel what’s going to happen. Not specific details or anything, but "how", "who", general events, places and such. Maybe thinking this way is prolonging my life, as I’m always looking out so I’m able to always prevent what might be.

I am fuxing tired now and I hope I wont fall asleep. I don't wanna "die" yet.

Day9 - Age of 9.
I remember I was a book worm at this age. I am just too tired to reflect my past at the moment, let the pictures do the talking.

Thing(s) I did on Day 9.
Reflecting Day9 - Age of 9 by "Joining Pool tournament". I got into semis and lost, thanks to myself for being too over confident and made one critical mistake. Hate to lose and disappointed but that's how the ball goes.

Memory Lane - Reflection Of My Life ( Day 8 )

2008-07-22T13:06:00.007+08:00

Quoted from the Bible :

Matthew 20
Workers in the Vineyard

20:1 “For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. And after agreeing with the workers for the standard wage, he sent them into his vineyard. When it was about nine o’clock in the morning, he went out again and saw others standing around in the marketplace without work. He said to them, ‘You go into the vineyard too, and I will give you whatever is right.’ So they went. When he went out again about noon and three o’clock that afternoon, he did the same thing. And about five o’clock that afternoon he went out and found others standing around, and said to them, ‘Why are you standing here all day without work?’ They said to him, ‘Because no one hired us.’ He said to them, ‘You go and work in the vineyard too.’ When it was evening the owner of the vineyard said to his manager, ‘Call the workers and give the pay starting with the last hired until the first.’ When those hired about five o’clock came, each received a full day’s pay. And when those hired first came, they thought they would receive more. But each one also received the standard wage. When they received it, they began to complain against the landowner, saying, ‘These last fellows worked one hour, and you have made them equal to us who bore the hardship and burning heat of the day.’ And the landowner replied to one of them, ‘Friend, I am not treating you unfairly. Didn’t you agree with me to work for the standard wage? Take what is yours and go. I want to give to this last man the same as I gave to you. Am I not permitted to do what I want with what belongs to me? Or are you envious because I am generous?’ So the last will be first, and the first last.”

As for me, the story means no matter when you accept Christ - you will still be accepted and treated fairly. I know I will be the last worker, the one that worked for one hour.

Day8 - Age of 8.
Still an asshole at the age of 8.

Thing(s) I did on Day 8.
Reflecting Day8 - Age of 8 by "watching The Dark Knight". My only comment for this movie is Fuxxxxxxxxtasticccccc!!!!!! Especially Joker.

Memory Lane - Reflection Of My Life ( Day 7 )

2008-07-21T14:54:00.009+08:00

Day7 - Age of 7.

This is the most critical year. This is the year I wish I could return back and patch back the biggest mistake I made in my entire life. The most critical and biggest mistake I made in my whole entire life is KNOWING THIS GUY ( MY BEST FRIEND ):

Thing(s) I did on Day 7.
Reflecting Day7 - Age of 7 by "going for fish spa". This is my first time trying out fish spa and dude, IT'S FUXING CUTE! Imagine your legs are surrounded by zillion ( I didn't really count ) of fishes and those assholes biting your legs like you owed them million of dollars. It cost Rm38 for 30 fuxing minutes and it was definitely worth checking out. I am definitely going back again for round 2!

Before entering the fish spa, I gotta take off my shoes and socks before proceeding to the cleaning area to wash my ass, my legs I mean. Before jumping in to any of the spots, I decided to do some scouting first. I noticed that some areas of the fish tank were filled with small fishes that were about two cm in length while there were other areas with fishes that were bigger, about three cm long and the biggest around 5 cm and they are fat as well. I can tell from the face of those fishes that they are not joking and they are seriously hungry for your feet! Being a chicken shit, I decided to start off with the tank of the smallest fishes. I sat on a cushion and dangled my legs into the tank, a large school of motherfuxing fishes swarmed my legs and within a second, I was surrounded by all these hamsap fishes molesting my feet. I felt a slight panic - more like geli, come on leh it's so fuxing itchy la. I immediately lifted both my legs out of the water. I braved myself and went back to the fishes again. I soaked it in and inside my heart I shouted "Eat this motherfuxer!". Within seconds the orgy began. It was incredibly ticklish and squeamish at the same time but it wasn't painful.

As a newbie, I lifted my legs out of the water repeatedly beh tahan leh and I can see other peoples are doing the same amidst squeals of laughter and controlled giggles. It was really funny. After about 10 minutes hanging out with the small fishes I decided to go for the medium sized one. Their bites are more intense and dude, those fishes ain't no joke - they are really nasty. They slapped every damn thing they could find on my legs. It was still acceptable, not too bad. I started to get the hang of these hamsap fishes and decided to go for the big boys. Ten fuxing seconds with the BIG one and that's about it, I decided to cruise back to the medium fishes.

Memory Lane - Reflection Of My Life ( Day 6 )

2008-07-21T01:37:00.003+08:00

Day6 - Age of 6.
I don't really quite remember what happen when I was six.

Thing(s) I did on Day 6.
Reflecting Day6 - Age of 6 by "sleeping" since I can't remember any shits when I was six.

I am so fuxing tired, all I want for now is just SLEEEEEEEEP!!!

Memory Lane - Reflection Of My Life ( Day 5 )

2008-07-20T04:17:00.004+08:00

Day5 - Age of 5.
I started kindergarten when I was 5 years old. One of my earliest childhood memories that I could remember. Kindergarten was an interesting time for me. It was the time when I had to begin interfacing more with society and learning how to learn and work with others. It was strange, as up until then I had no real responsibilities and nothing was expected of me.

I remember my grandfather used to fetch me to kindergarten on his bicycle. He would be cycling and I would be at the back holding him and paying attention to all the chicks I could find. And sometimes mum, my auntie and another cousin who's attending the same kindergarten as me would travel by bus. I remember my first day of kindergarten was extremely intimidating, to say the least. I decided that I didn’t want to go to kindergarten. Most kids would've cry or piss on their pants but not me. I was kicking and screaming. I tried to run back home, but my mother caught me. Eventually, she just picked me up and dragged me to the kindergarten. We must have been quite a sight - a mother carrying a wildly thrashing kid screaming and crying at the top of his lungs. Later on, I was sitting in the classroom with the other kids and the teacher. I sniffled, but didn’t cry. After a few minutes I looked around, and started talking and playing with the other kids.

I pity my poor mother for that day. She went home, having left me to the tender mercies of the teacher, filled with guilt and trepidation. She must have felt terrible. When the time finally came to pick me up, she must have been a nervous wreck. Imagine her surprise to see me playing gleefully with the other children, the center of attention. The teacher had introduced us to play this game where every one has to pretend as a rabbit. Only one would be selected as tiger, and the tiger has to run around and catch those rabbits. The one who got caught by the tiger will then switch role and be the tiger. I was making a big mess out of it. I questioned my teacher of being a rabbit "Why must be rabbit? I don't want to be a rabbit, I wanna be a lion and fight with that tiger!". I insisted on being a lion and when the tiger came near me, I Bruce-Lee-Sided-Kick that asshole tiger. What a rebel. Kindergarten was a time of innocence, playful-ness, and cloudy memories of screaming children barely out of their diapers with a teacher almost as bad.

Thing(s) I did on Day 5.
Reflecting Day5 - Age of 5 by "clubbing ( that's 'playing' isnt' it? ) and getting shitty drunk ". Three drinkers with 2 bottles of Chivas. We had it all on-the-rock and I drank most of it, like 1 whole bottle. The other 2 friends didn't drink much, I only wanted to drink and get myself drunk. At least getting drunk I can temporarily forget all the sadness and misery I am going through at the moment.

So I was sitting there enjoying and yam-seng-ing with my friends when all of a sudden comes this walrus of a woman wearing a midriff t-shirt, exposing her flabby disgusting lard-filled gut as she lumbered along. I stood up so I could get a clear shot of her because I was about to barf up my drinks, when I suddenly realized that I was surrounded by nasty fat chicks with giant saggy guts. Every time I see another one of these fat-ass women parading around in some skimpy outfit, it makes me impotent for weeks. I don't get it. Is it part of that whole "acceptance" thing? That stupid mentality that we're all beautiful and that having a gut is cute? Trust me, your gut (and it is a gut, not a "tummy") is not as sexy as you think. It's nauseating. If you don't have the body for it, then why wear a tiny midriff t-shirt that accentuates your bulbous lard sack?

I know it's the trendy thing to go around dressed like Britney Spears because you're all mindless media drones with no opinions or personalities. Quit buying this shit. You're not Britney Spears. You're not hot. You're not popular. Nobody cares about your stupid new shirt and it doesn't matter how much you spend on your clothes because you're always going to be the same old boring you, who listens to the same music everyone else listens to because you're insecure and don't have opinions.

Just because looking like trash will help you get laid doesn't mean that you're any less of a vile pig. Cover up. Get some decency. Being able to get laid doesn't mean that you're attractive, and it doesn't mean you should go around showcasing your fat-ass to people either. There's always someone as horny as you are ugly. Take the hint: they don't make tube tops in extra-large because fat people shouldn't wear them.

Later on I found out, those chicks know one of my friend - ex colleague. Boy, they really spoiled the nite BUT looking on the bright side, one of them is cute. She has got this look like Hannah Tan. Trust me, all eyes are on her - even mine. She was wearing a black dress and she was pretty tall for a local girl. She had a couple of drinks with us and introduced herself. She was sitting beside me! After a few shots she left with all the monsters, back to their cage. We continue drinking like there is no tomorrow and it surprised us when that hot chick came back to us and had a few more rounds. Thank God the monsters are not with her this time. We went for supper after that and here am I, stoned and drunk writing this entry.

Memory Lane - Reflection Of My Life ( Day 4 )

2008-07-18T21:55:00.003+08:00

Well, after those unfavorable moments that come and still with me even at this point of time I decided not to rant anymore. But I just can’t keep myself not spilling out those annoyance inside. But come to think about it again, I am just a useless noisy bastard who is actually lamented myself. Being not able to do what I want to do always. Being not able to get what I want to get always. Compare to others surrounds me, I appear like nothing to be proud of, really. Sometimes, my inner self asked for just a slight confidence, promised to stop complaining about problems, work harder and be a better person. Today I said that, tomorrow I forgot and I start everything again, I reminded myself again, I forgot. What’s happening really.

All those oath promises I set for myself, just came and gone. Why is it so hard to do and maintain those promises? Why is it always so easy to make mistake yet hard to not make any mistake? Why is it always easier to do useless things than useful things? Why is it so hard to make myself do the right things?

Anyway, I have always wanted a tattoo. I have decided that I want to get one on my left arm. I want a small one that starts close to the left arm. Initially, I wanted to carve 3 tattoos - a "X" on my left arm, "Y" on the chest and "Z" on the right arm. Sounds silly rite? The only thing left to decide now is the design. This one has got to be original and meaningful to me. I was thinking to carve someone's name.

And next week, I have plenty of activities lining up. Gonna meet up with a good friend from Penang on Monday, I got a pool tournament on Wednesday, on Saturday I gotta attend my company annual dinner and on Sunday I have a primary school ex-classmates gathering.

Day4 - Age of 4.
Mum said, as a 4 year old child, I always get on their nerves. I would always want something or someone to play with and normally I would be playing with my other 2 cousins. The 3 of us were born in the same year and I am the eldest, so most of the time I lead the party. The 3 of us always needed to create a place to go where we could have fun. And under my leadership we always have fun! My imagination, as a child was very strong. Creating a hideaway for us was an easy task, one many years of joy and childhood memories that I still cherish today.

I had a huge collection of toys. You name it, from Voltron, He-Man, guns, Transformer, those mini soldiers miniature, and my all time favorite LEGO. I remember every time when I go shopping with my parents, I'll fuxing come back home with a set of LEGO and my parents will always nag me for buying such an expensive toys. And the next day, I would show off my new set of LEGO to other kids - "lalalalala look at my new LEGO, lalalalalalalalala".

Thing(s) I did on Day 4.
Reflecting Day4 - Age of 4 by "playing in the office". As the matter of fact, I am still in the office now ( 11pm now as I'm writing this particular line ). Yah that's how I "play". It's fuxing Friday nite and I have no where to go and nothing to do. So, being such a sore loser staying back alone in the office complaining about life is the perfect choice.

Memory Lane - Reflection Of My Life ( Day 3 )

2008-07-17T21:22:00.019+08:00

Felt So Disgusted
Cheating is the most dreaded event in a relationship or even friendship, since this defeats the purpose of having a commitment. But why do people cheat on their partners, friends or even the entire world? What drives them to go the distance and hurt someone whom they promised the stars and the sky? This is an extreme case but if you really look around, you will see cheating has become a widespread thing. Not just among guys but also women. I personally don’t understand how people can cheat on those that they love. It’s not even something that even crosses my mind. But then again I have not been married yet and haven’t put in the time. But still, I am 100% sure I would never consider it because I like stability and once I’m stuck on something, that’s it. I’m not really one for change or added excitement. And I’ve surely never been one for the hunt. More importantly, I think it’s all about principle and faith. What’s wrong is wrong and that’s the end of that. That’s my viewpoint but I’m not one to judge others.

But reality would always hit me, the thing is that its so tough to just close the door to somebody. I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I didn't wanted to end things like this, but it seems its the only way. I always believe in second chances ( or even third, fourth ... ) as long as they are well deserved. Cheap thrills kill relationship and friendship and devastate lives of the innocent. I am learning to let go. Though there is nothing I can do on my part, but I know I should rest easy and know that what goes around comes around.

Anyway, craps aside. Let's get on with the birthday pledge.

Day3 - Age of 3.
Mum said I was notorious for throwing temper tantrums, shouting the word "no" almost constantly, and generally making her lives more difficult. While whining and temper tantrums are just normal for a kid like me, I was also very competitive. I don't like to lose in whatever I'm doing and I always wanted to be the outstanding one. For example, when I was playing with this bunch of kids from my neighborhood, everyone wants to be Ultraman ( yah Ultraman the prick that will go uh-oh when the artificial heart's light starts to go oh-uh )and no one wants to be the bad ass - which is the monsters. I will ended up playing the Godzilla character and slapping everyone's balls there, with no mercy no remorse!

Thing(s) I did on Day 3.
Reflecting Day3 - Age of 3 by "joining my company Ping-Pong Tournament". I was paired with one of my colleague Annuar and we were knocked out at the very First Round. Knn I think my whole entire life I only played Ping-Pong like max 3 times!

Memory Lane - Reflection Of My Life ( Day 2 )

2008-07-16T16:21:00.009+08:00

Day2 - Age of 2.
Mum said when I was two year old I like to be independent. My emotions take on like a roller coaster, I can go from excitement to anger to laughter within a few moments. And also I spent time exploring, pushing, pulling, filling, dumping, and touching. Mum also said I was an asshole. I like to imitate my parents and I was very possessive. I would offers toys to other children but then want them back, my asshole-ness really starts at a very young age. Adding to that, mum also claimed that I was destructive to objects around me when frustrated and angry. Anything that comes near me when I'm pissed is doomed to hell. I am like a fuxing Terminator!

Thing(s) I did on Day 2.
Reflecting Day2 - Age of 2 by "watching Arnold Schwarzenegger - Terminator". No one comes near this asshole when it comes to destruction. Since mum said I was such an asshole when I was two years old, I'm gonna spend a little time with Mr. Terminator tonite.

There will be moments when the only thing left is for you to question your existence. Life can be so damned hard for each of us. There are always days when we get so lonely and depressed. When we cry. When the world has lost its colors. When the rest of the world is happy and you are not. There will be times when we lose all reasons for living and problems will seem so hard that we wish there was no such thing as tomorrow. But then again, we should also know, that they are just another bitterness in life trying to twist the personage in each of us and corrupt our perceptions about life. When these times happen, do not succumb to the temptations of giving up. Yes, to live is to suffer and the only way to be happy is to suffer willingly.

Often, the worst of times yields the best lessons in life. We have to go on in life’s extremes. We don’t have to give up.

p/s: ma cb tomorrow my company organizing a lancao pingpong tourmanent and I'm playing the first round - like the fux I know how to play pingpong! Why involve me?! Cb.

Memory Lane - Reflection Of My Life ( Day 1 )

2008-07-15T13:35:00.005+08:00

My birthday is exactly 30 days from now and Donz suggested me a brilliant idea on counting down my birthday. In this period of counting down, I would have to do something daily to reflect my life from the age of 1 until now. For example, on the first day of counting down my birthday I would have to do something to reflect shits I did when I was at the age of 1. And on the second day, I gotta do something else to reflect the shits I did at the age of 2 and I gotta repeat this until D-Day. I find it interesting and from today onwards, I will be updating my blog on my daily actions till D-Day.

As the matter of fact, the past 30 years have been an absolutely amazing and shit-do-happen years for me. And as for this couple of years, it’s been a year of really examining my past and understanding how that has affected my growth up until this point in my life. It’s been a year of learning more of who I am and that I don’t have to be a product of my past. That I can take the struggles and the pain and learn and grow from them. But I don’t have to stay in a state of struggle and pain. I have a choice. I have control. It’s been a year of learning what makes me smile. A year of finding ways to care for myself. A year of learning that I am worth taking care of.

This year I’m celebrating the fact that I’ve lived another year of life. And I can honestly say that life is good. It’s not perfect. It has plenty of struggles. But those struggles have a purpose. They bring growth and wisdom. They bring with them great learning opportunities. They bring depth to life and a great appreciation for the good times. I feel like I can look back on the 30 years I’ve lived on this earth with a sense of satisfaction. I have survived much and achieved much.

It feels weird to say that "Hey I'm 30 years old". It's a good feeling though, a milestone if you will. So I'm looking back at my accomplishments and failures over the last 30 years and I have to ask myself, "Oi where to now?". Well, so far I'm not very pleased with where I am at the moment and the direction I'm currently headed in. My career decisions aside my family is what's most important to me. So what do I plan to cook up for the next 30 years? I have some really cool things planned for the next coming months, but beyond that things seem blurry. I guess as long as I keep my head high, and mind open to new possibilities and new horizons it should be another fun 30 years.

So, work day or not, I'll have a beer, sit back for a few and toast myself to the next 30 years :).

Alrite, on to :
Day1 - Age of 1.
Tell me how the fux am I supposed to know what I did when I was at the age of 1? So I asked my mum and she said "When you were at the age of 1, you were already singing Led Zep Stairway To Heaven!". Ok that was just bullshit from me. Like any other babies, I learn to walk, crawl, shit, sleep, suck those nipples hard and how-to-rape-a-toy-in-10seconds. Mum said I make all kind of sounds as I am learning to talk and communicating with them. I wake up from time to time in the middle of the night and when I'm awake, all hell break loose. I will just get up and play with my toys and don't give a fux about the rest of the world. Mum also said I like to be noticed by people and I wasn't afraid of strangers.

Thing(s) I did on Day 1.
Reflecting Day1 - Age of 1 by "learning how to call mummy and daddy". I seldom ( or I would say I don't at all ) greet both of them. Today I greeted mum and dad with full respect. They were both shocked and the expression on their face was like getting a fish-slap from my great great grandparents. I managed to scanned a few pictures from my family photo album. Just look at the big motherfuxing aeroplane-like cake on my 1st year birthday.

Patut la !

2008-07-14T05:25:00.005+08:00

Got all these pictures from a friend.

No wonder so jam la that day !!!

Run Forrest! Run!

2008-07-12T11:57:00.003+08:00

Do you experience leg pain when walking? My ankle hurts when I am standing, walking or even when I'm sitting down. But it only happens like 1 or 2 months once, sometimes longer. And when it comes, I'll be carrying the pain for 1-3 days. So ladies, I completely understand your pain every month though it is not as significant as yours. I remember when I was way much younger, I used to play a lot of football on field. You know la football, a lot of aggression and shits do happen. I remember I broke my metatarsal and tore some ligaments during that time. Normal I think. It is a contact sport after all, bound to be injured one time or another. My ankle still hurts after I play futsal nowadays though. Guess the ligaments are not fully healed yet.

This morning I actually ran, jogging I mean. Woke up at about 6am and I ran with a friend. My place is not a very scenic town but not too bad la, at least you can still find some chicks walking around early in the morning. The weather was perfect, a little cold in the morning, and not too hot the rest of the day. Anything is better than hot and humid, and neither of those were present. We got off to a good start and kept a decent pace throughout the run. It was nice running with friends because we kept each other going. Our routine was to run as much as we could and then walk when we got tired. We ran the entire first two miles, the rest were a mix of running and walking. I never would've guessed I'd be able to run that long after haven't been really doing any serious exercises for such a long time. What's more, I never expected to be able to wake up at 6am and actually went for jogging! I found that I could push myself to go further than I thought, as long as I was determined not to cut myself short. All in all, I have no regrets for doing it, and I wouldn't be against another run sometime in the future.

After the run we went for breakfast and it was then I became a professor in love. *Ahem*. My friend spilled out his problem to me, he just broke off with his girlfriend and she's completely ignoring him now. Though I'm not a living proof of a successful relationship but at least I'm good at listening. This is how I think about it when a girl decided to call off a relationship. I know it hurts. Sometimes when people fall out of love with us, there's really no answer as to why that will really satisfy us anyway. The bottom line is they just don't love us anymore. It hurts like no other hurt, except having someone we love die, and sometimes, that's even easier to deal with than someone stomping on our heart and waltzing on their merry way and not even care that we're destroyed. But as hard as it is, that's the harsh reality of it. People are going to do horrible things to us in our life, and it's our job to do what we can to pick up the pieces and go on. She obviously does not want to be his friend or continue any sort of contact with him, and hounding her won't do anything to change her mind. In fact, it will just give her something to laugh about with her friends. That's just her deal. My friend has to accept that he's ok, he did the best he could in the relationship, and it just didn't work for them. He should reclaim his life, and rebuild a life without her. Hold his head up with dignity. And having his grandmother call her and fight his battle for him may not be the best way to tell her "OK we are done, I'll be fine without you." At this critical moment, he should be surrounding himself with family and friends for support. Not necessarily to cry about her, but just to have some human companionship around him so he won't feel her absent so much. Get involved in orgy sessions, gangbang sessions, etc. anything and everything that can fill up his free time and hopefully with a little time, he'll get used to her being gone, and he'll be ready to think about finding a nice and hotter girl who will appreciate him.

I got back home after that and mum starts to nag like there is no tomorrow. It seems that everything I do is not good enough for my mum. It's all very stressful. One thing that hurts me the most was when my mum said "I don't know what I did wrong in my past life that I now have a son like you" ( after translating it from Cantonese ). I don't know now why my mum said that but it's painful to hear that. I'm just so bummed. Can't blame her though as the fact I did fail in every corner of my life.

GBOB

2008-07-11T10:25:00.003+08:00

Damage Inc to GBOB?

The 3 Sins

2008-07-10T02:06:00.003+08:00

I didn't sleep last nite and I'm so freaking tired and sleepy rite now but yet I still can't close my eyes. I feel like a walking mummy the whole day. Three incidents happened today that certified my half conscious working brain :

1) Went to Starbucks Centro to meet up with Donz after work. After the session, I walked to the car park to collect my car. I got panic when I couldn't find my car key. I spent like 30minutes searching for my car keys and I literally thought I lost my mind for I knew for a fact that my keys were in my pant pockets. I inspected every single pocket and I checked my bag. Ohh fux, keys were not to be found. I climbed back to Starbucks and no luck. I asked everyone sitting near me just now and again, no luck. I sifted through the tables and chairs around it, the grass and the gutters down the street - in case the recent rains took my keys for a ride like that fuxin paper boat we used to play when we were small. No dice. It was then I surrendered myself and decided to call my brother to pass me the spare keys. Rite at the very moment I slipped my hand into the pants left pocket to get my phone, I felt something bulky and hard like my cock. It was then I realized the keys were in my pants pocket all these while. Funny rite?

2) I got back to the car park with the keys and I couldn't locate my car. I was so fuxin sure my car was parked rite here at this spot and at that very moment where I stood. Did I really remember having my car parked here? Perhaps Alzheimer's really was setting in. I got panic again. Ohh fux not again, I lost my car again! I wandered around the car park for another uncomfortable 15minutes while pressing on my car alarm button key. It was then I heard a very familiar alarm sound but I wasn't sure because there were many people walking around raping their car keys button like me. Surprisingly, the alarm sound was pretty far away from where I stood. So having the intelligence of a CSI elite member, I did the Matrix "follow the white rabbit" method. I kept pressing on the car keys alarm button and follow where my ears led me to. Not long after that, I found my car! Good rabbit. It was then I realized my car was actually parked at Basement2 and not Basement1. Fuxin Alzheimer!

3) I took a short nap in the office this afternoon, the car accidents nitemare came back again. This time I died tragically banged by a fuxing bus. I am certain something is gonna happen to me or someone who is very close to me. I couldn't explain what it is but the last time I had a recurring dreams, it happened to my godmother and my grandpa. Both of them waved goodbye to me in my dream, 3 days before they passed away, no shits! I hope this time around it will happen to me and not anyone closes to me.

Depression - The Double Combo

2008-07-09T01:01:00.003+08:00

Shits always come together, all together at the same time. There has been a spate of troubles in my family and my own personal life lately. I wish that it was all just a dream and it never actually occurred. I was once a vibrant individual that was highly motivated and confident, not anymore. I am not writing this because I pity myself and want other people to join in and pity me. I have never felt so depressed before in my whole entire life. I guess the reason I'm posting this is simply because I feel so empty inside.

I feel like I am nothing. Nobody. A washed up shell which once, long ago, housed a soul. Now, I am useless. Without value to anyone. Due to my strong demeanor it is hard for some to believe that I actually cry. Last night I got into bed really late. As I lay there, trying to form shapes out of the ethereal smoke that lifted into nothingness, I realized how tired I was. The numbness came over me like a blanket of wave washing over the formless, yet distinct, shoreline. A few repetitive strokes and all that was awake was my wandering mind. Sleep, I thought would come naturally, but it didn’t. The uninvited guest, however, was tears. Dumb ass. And as it overwhelmed by my weaker side I fuxin smirked and shrugged to shake off the sudden ache that was growing inside me. But, uninvited guests, as they always say, don’t necessarily leave when asked to. And so, as the fuxin story unfolds, the tears rolled down my cheeks, meandering their way through the contours of my fuxin face and my pillow. They continued, beyond a point where they controlled me and I had succumbed to the void and emptiness that had originally forced those fuxin tears out of me. With eyes moist and salt streaks on my cheeks I gave into the tiredness and drifted, like floating over clouds of loss and despair, yet a strange sense of hope and depravity. The next thing I remember is waking up and wishing I would have stay fuxin asleep forever.

I was starting to feel better today and the fever went down a few degrees after writing this. And when I thought I was about to get better - it became worse again. Plus I am so tired that I cannot stay awake for more than an hour few times a day. I have no idea what's happening to me. But at moments like these, I just try to reflect on the things I have done. And today the tears are falling anew.

What The......

2008-07-07T01:52:00.001+08:00

Check this shit out.

Free Rice

2008-07-04T00:44:00.002+08:00

Spend some of your free time and help them.

http://www.freerice.com

Some Updates

2008-07-03T01:27:00.005+08:00

I’ve been very busy this week. It’s been sort of a tough transition for me to go from shaking my ass everyday to getting up early every morning and having a full day of busy work. I like my new job but however, I’m hating the reality of it. I’m not sure if that makes any sense. Anyway, I feel like I was sort of cheated and roped into accepting this position. But then again, everyone has to go through this shit...work sux!

In other news, I have been so emotional lately. Yah guys do emo too. My emotions have been all over the place. At times, suicidal thoughts pop into my head. At other times, like when I’m at work, my mind just strayed away to something else and my eyes will glued to the wall looking at nothing for several minutes. I keep making excuses for myself and I don’t know why. I feel so tired. I’m avoiding phone calls, people, everything, I don’t know what has me so afraid.

Anyway, I wanna wish a happy fuxing belated birthday to an asshole I know since the age of 7. HAPPY FUXING BELATED BIRTHDAY DONNIE NG CHICKEN WING!!!!

Do you believe in karma? I am starting to believe it. If you do good things, good things will happen to you - if you do bad things, bad things will happen to you. In other word, if you have been an asshole like me, those shits gonna come back to you in one big pile. Of course, good things should happen to good people, and bad things should happen to bad people. Though in real life that is not a guarantee. That bad things happen to good people, and that bad people get away with evil deeds everyday are a given. One good living example of bad people is Donz, he is still very much alive till today. And the argument is even more stark when you include babies and children. They get born with defects, they go hungry, they get abused, they fall ill and they die. If you believe in karma, then you must believe that they have somehow brought it on themselves. How do you reconcile that? Number one, "DO NO EVIL, DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE" and secondly "ASSHOLES get neither forgiveness nor mercy". To a lesser extent, that’s how I also deal with people who’ve crossed or wronged me. I don’t wish them harm, but they get excised out of my life completely. They abuse my friendship, so they should lose it. What goes around comes around, that is something that I have learned through experience.

Talking bout friends, your friend will change, you will change, everyone will change. I have a tight-knit group of friends that I have been close to for the past few years. They've been a great support to me during this time, but lately something is different. I'm not sure if I've changed or if they have, but we just don't seem to get together that often anymore. Everyone is busy between work and own personal life ( wife, kids etc. )and I haven't been able to spend much time with them. I don't have many other people I can turn to when I'm down. It's not all too uncommon for friends to drift apart as life gets in the way. Here's something I found on the web :

Depression is a notorious assassin, it causes the death of the heart. Leaving you clueless of its attack and it strikes when you least expect it. For the non toxic kind, it leaves the heart restless. You feel that the whole world is crushing down on you and nothing is as important as before. In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day after day. You feel the cold breeze and silent whispers of loneliness and isolation. Despair is the price one pays for setting oneself an impossible aim.

This grief can't be shared. Everyone carries it alone, his own burden, his own way. Though happiness is beneficial to the body, it is grief that develops the powers of the mind. What cruelty can lead to this ill feeling? Does loving someone so deep and true more than yourself cause such pain? Missing someone so near to your heart? Losing someone or something important to you? Failing someone or something? Jealousy? Betrayal? Being betrayed? Rejection?...

But still...
I think if there's a great depression there might be some hope. You grope towards an understanding of whatever it is your going through, and it's not personal, there are forces in play around you, and you seek to understand them and that way you can go on. I am still hopeful that one day, all of this will go away, and everything will be back to normal. You may not know it, but at the far end of despair, there is a white clearing where one is almost happy. To get there is an effort one has to acquire. It is helpful to have faithful and honest friends by my side, to support me and counsel me in times of trouble. And at the end, all this will be a thing of the past that will teach me to be wiser and stronger.

Man...I just discovered a very disturbing truth: I DON'T FUXING KNOW WHAT I'M WRITING! Now, I have difficulty thinking, concentrating, remembering and making decisions. I'm not taking it very well. I may be over-reacting. But a lot of small shit quickly builds up to a big mess. Maybe so quickly that I didn't notice.

Shits Do Happen

2008-06-29T03:30:00.003+08:00

I keep having these recurring dream about car accidents lately. I dream of me dying in a tragic car accident. I am always alone in the car and either a big rig truck cuts me off and smashes me to death by tipping over or it is on the freeway and I am in the middle of a 5 to 7 car pile up and by the time they get to me I am already dead. Also, it's weird because I felt like I died in real life (my subconscious told me "you died" and I felt "dead") it's weird! It was like a lucid dream. My whole body went numb, I was so shocked at what had happened. I woke up and that was the end of my nitemare.

So in case if I really die in accident, tell my mum and my love one I love them so much. Lame post but just in case if shits happen.

Tired And Boring

2008-06-20T16:46:00.003+08:00

I am tired and I am sick. Many people have told me that I should be striving to find some balance in life. In general, I think that I do quite well. I actually don't exercise much, I use a lot of computers and I always sleep late. On the other hand, I occasionally work 52 hours a week and skip meals. See, I'm really trying hard to balance it ;)

Well, I have been innocently staying at home after work for the past few days. They have been boring days, truth be told, but I am hating it. I got no where to go, nothing to do except trying to get a good sleep. Which saddens me a great deal since I can't really stick my ass at home. So after those painful days, I started to call up some old friends for some drinks. The friends I spent time with have been awesome, I had loads of conversation, and I felt that activities like this made a difference in someone’s life. A positive difference, and was done because I was so fuxing boring!

I slept really badly the last few days, thanks to Euro 2008. That makes me grumpy as hell and accident prone. I managed to plant my knee against a fuxing desk so hard today that I ended up feeling nauseous from the pain. I will probably be limping later. Not much I can do about all of it, other than feel sorry for myself, which I am doing a really good job of right now. For those reading this, I am fine, I will be ok. Just right now things are just feeling fuxed up, it will pass as well and I will be my usual cheery self.

Also, tomorrow promises to be a non-event for me. I am getting sick and fuxing tired of putting my life on hold while other things, other people, other events have to take place before I can get what I deserve. This is not about wanting. Want is a nebulous thing that means nothing to the universe. What we deserve as a reward for our efforts is a different thing. I wont go into detail much more, but I am feeling tired rite now. I despise the feeling of inertia I have right now. I am going nowhere fast - in any area of my life.

The Euro 2008 Fever

2008-06-17T16:19:00.001+08:00

When you are watching Euro 2008 with a group of friends and while waiting for the match to kick off, you can do this :

Iron Fuxing Man

2008-06-14T19:27:00.006+08:00

I know it's an old movie but I just watched em like 2-3 weeks ago with a spastic friend, Donz. I normally don’t go to the cinema simply because I am an asshole and I support pirated DVDs, as simple as that. After my salary offered up a sufficient enough cash bribe I agreed to watch it with Donz. After sitting through and sleeping for ninety minutes of the worst movie ever made, I swear to God I gotta review this movie. And not only the movie. I'm gonna risk myself of going to jail for reviewing this movie.

OK so, Ironman is an ass kicking robot blockbuster, they tell you how great robots are and how they can fux up the world nicely. I don't know how many are yet to watch this show but if you haven't watch it, this post is gonna be a spoiler so don't yell at me with your wet vagina and don't bitch at me like Donz. The storyline is pretty simple, it's about this rich ass genius Tony Stark being kidnapped by terrorists and forced to build a bomb that can even destroy Godzilla with one click. And while he was building the bomb unwillingly, he actually built a robot suit - a real kick ass robot suit, a route for him to escape from all these gay terrorists. He completed it in time and managed to kick the shits out of everyone and got his ass back home safely, with the help of the robot suit of course. I think MacGyver also lose him la.

The show continues as we watch Tony Stark develop a new super armor with the assistance of his super advanced Adobe Photoshop software and his comic relief robot helpers. And he has a hot assistant too. Robot helpers and hot female assistant – looks like Santa’s getting an updated list from one blogger asshole this year. While he’s building his new kick ass suit of armor Tony Stark finds out that the same gay terrorists that kidnapped him have gotten their hands on a bunch of Stark Enterprise weaponry and he decides to take matters into his own hands. So he jumps in his robot suit and flies to the Middle East in around six minutes. From Los Angeles! Nia ma, I wish I have that suit. He got his ass to the Middle East in 6 fuxing minutes and rape the holy piss out of a bunch of terrorists and then he fights a tank. Yes a fuxing tank. A robot fights a motherfuxing tank. If you’re not sprouting some sort of physiological sign of being horribly aroused (hard nipples, raging boner, moist in the crotch – take your pick) then you’re probably not human. Come on leh, a robot vs a tank! Get excited a bit!

He fuxing rape the tank with a single knockout and then you can see him leaving cooly ( with a rock song playing at the background ). It's time to go back LA for some beers and skirt chasing. Once he is back in America, the bad ass guy found Tony Stark’s prototype armor that he left in the Middle east during his escape and decided to reverse engineer that into his own version. So we have a situation here, so far our Ironman escaped the terrorist kidnapping, rape the terrorists and save mankind, one hit KO a fuxing tank and now he has to fight his own kind but a bigger size robot than him. That’s like defeating Godzilla and just as the celebration orgy breaks out, Godzilla’s mother comes around the corner, distraught over the death of her child and puts a serious cramp on his ass.

Ironman won obviously, thanks to his sexy assistant. And rite after the show, Donz as usual with his spastic attitude ( can't blame him though ) looked at me with an evil smile and chanted "I am Ironman".

My Euro 2008 Prediction

2008-06-11T14:32:00.003+08:00

Group A
-------
Portugal
Czech
Turkey
Switz

Group B
-------
Germany
Crotia
Austria
Poland

Group C
-------
Italy
France
Netherlands
Romania

Group D
-------
Spain
Sweden
Russia
Greece

Winner A ( Portugal ) vs Runnerup B ( Crotia )
Winner B ( Germany ) vs Runnerup A ( Czech )
Winner C ( Italy ) vs Runnerup D ( Sweden )
Winner D ( Spain ) vs Runnerup C ( France )

Semi 1 - Portugal vs Germany
Semi 2 - Italy vs France

Final - Germany vs Italy

I really have no rhyme or reason for these predictions, these are simply just hunches and my personal analysis. I know everyone loves predictions so I’m putting them out here more or less to get them out of the way. And so far, I got it all right - Czech, Portugal, Crotia, Germany, Romania, Netherlands, Spain and Sweden. RM100 for each and it's already RM900 in pocket, talking bout pro ;)

Malaysia Boleh

2008-06-09T00:52:00.002+08:00

Malaysia petrol price has been raise by over 40%. The price for petrol now stands at RM2.70 a liter, an increase of 78 sen while the price of diesel has shot up by RM1 at RM2.58. Our Prime Minister said, our petrol prices are still the cheapest as compared to other countries in the region, the increase of petrol prices are due to the global petrol price hike. With this RM2.70 /liter of petrol and subject to fluctuate every month, how long can people survive with their current lifestyle and salary? Nabeh if this country has been properly managed, we wouldn't complain. You think we all like to complain one ah? I used to have a full tank at about RM80 and this morning when I went and refuel, it surprised me when the number went up to RM106.

And even funnier shits the nite before the price increases,I saw every fuxing petrol stations were full and the que was as long as the Great Wall of China. I thought to myself, all these fuxers are going through such a long que just because they wanted to have a full tank before the price increases. How much can they save? Save that little for once and wasting a few hours just to save that little couple of bucks? What's next the day after when they need to refuel again? You still have to pay RM2.7 for one fuxing liter!

We are all fuxed by bunch of monkeys who have been fuxing all our money for the past decades. We, the taxpayer. One very good example is our government sending someone ( a monkey in disguise ) into space, and yet they felt so fuxing proud of it. Wake up bitch! You actually think we have the technologies to even do a small research about the fuxing universe? Yah that guy went up to space and came down not long after that, what's next? We gonna do some experiment on him and transform him to some cool moffo like the Fantastic Four? Ohh crap. To be honest, with the current petrol price increase, it wouldn't hurt me much because my company is paying for it, but please think in a bigger picture, think of those with low income and has a family to feed. Ahhh crap, fux it - I'm going to watch Euro2008.

What the fux

2008-06-04T01:39:00.002+08:00

I am really getting tired of this shit. I'm tired of trying so hard to contact people, but get no response back. I called people but they don't pick up the damn phone. I called my clients, they don't pick up the damn phone too. Even on MSN I tried so hard to say hi to someone I know is there but did nothing to respond. I even send messages through e-mail and I get nothing. Sure, I understand people are busy but not so busy that every time I call or message, they just ignore me. Maybe it's another person under their screen name, but all the time? I don't believe that. And to never go idled?

I'm really beginning to flip out. I feel so shitty the whole day. And all of a sudden, a brainless friend called me and told me he wanted to commit suicide. I was like, WTF. He broke off with his girl friend and wanted to end his frustration and sadness. Come on man, losing a girl is not losing everything. I know it's painful and tough, I'd been through those shits before too. It is tough but not to the extend of committing suicide. I think about suicide too, not many times though. I am still alive ( thankfully ) for the sole purpose of not selfishly bringing depression and pain to my family and some others. It is not an admirable way to go. I hate many shits and often feel like a useless asshole but on the flip side, it empowers and reminds me of how fuxing tough I truly am to endure all the mental and physical pains I have survived. I told him him to let loose and be himself and start doing what interests him or put himself in a position to learn the craft or art or whatever fux it is missing.

In fact I let the bad come pouring into and raining on top of me in order to grow stronger and wiser. He should be content in knowing that he is wise and talented with the gift of awareness that a lot of other fallen dick head don't have. He should use this utter depression and sense of being nobody's love to realize the strength he already obviously have. Life takes effort and planning and trial and error, isn't it? I suggested to him to make some changes and get involved in new things and challenge himself. After succeeding just a little bit at one of his challenges , he will feel amaze, reborn, inspired to get more and more. Suicide will not solve problems but add more to the list. Every time when I have that kinda stupid thoughts, I'll think about my family and someone. Easy to say but hard to do. I hope to hear from him again soon, otherwise I'll have to prepare some angpow for his funeral.

Gaining Weight

2008-06-02T18:39:00.003+08:00

Phase 1 of my re-transformation and the making of the second Arnold Schwarzenegger. After pumping that iron for some time I can even feel my balls are shaking. I'm eating 4 meals per day consisting of meat ( chicken, beef, lamb, fish etc. ), milk, peanuts, butter, eggs etc. IF I still can't gain weight after all these shits, I'm gonna commit suicide like Kurt Cobain.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Training

2008-05-28T23:01:00.002+08:00

I am so freaking tired and I have not been getting a real good sleep for weeks. Sleep, I mean really sleep. You put your head on the pillow and sleep the shit out of it till you are really awake and get the shit out from your bed. I admit that getting old with more responsibilities is really stressful and especially it is the prime time or the highlight moment of my career.

That aside, allow me to say that I have never been so mentally abused by any training before. I had 2 full fuxing days for training and it was insane, pull-your-hair-out moments and most of the speakers either they wanked the day before their speech or they just had a great fight with Godzilla. I think I'm a little over reacting here. Well the speakers are all great person. It is just that the material itself is so abysmally numb I bet if the trees that were cut down for the printing would do something about it they'd burn themselves up.

Anyway, I guess the best outcome out of this (other than of course securing my job for a longer bit) is that I actually got to master the art of sleeping-with-eyes-open, eyes-looking-at-the-speaker-but-the-mind-is-thinking-of-something-else, walking-in-and-out-pretending-there-was-a-phone-call, MCSE ( Minesweeper Certified Solitaire Expert )as well as Free Cell and Hearts.

I was so relieved that the training finally finished today. I had to reward myself by baptizing myself over a 30minutes long shower. Oh by the way, I had a great lunch today. Steamboooooooattttttttt !!!! and the greatest of all, it's company's bill ;)

Happy Birthday Sweetie

2008-05-27T01:55:00.002+08:00

Twenty nine years ago, a baby boy was born in Klang. When he was just a towheaded rascal, a baby girl was born in the other side of Singapore. When he was a smartass troublemaker with a crooked smile, she was pretty and looked like an angel. When he was working his ass out to earn more bucks, she was fretting over what to wear with her new clothes. Their lives took them down different roads, but roads that would lead them to each other some time later.

The woman who made me laugh and made me smile. The day I finally accepted that love is forever etched into my mind and my heart, and I'm so thankful for the amazing ways she's changed my life for the better. She has shown me the meaning of unconditional love, has helped me discover my own strengths and accept my own weaknesses, and she's taught me so much about communication and openness and trust and devotion and support and romance and the pure value of love.

I want to take the opportunity to say a very public thank you to her, for loving me the way I am and the way I'm not, and for showing me that I don't have to give up on happily ever after.

I love you sweetie and I hope you have a happy birthday. I look forward to spending the rest of your birthdays, and mine, by your side.

Boring

2008-05-25T20:16:00.002+08:00

For the last few weeks, I have been just working like a two headed cow to get out from under a pile of deadlines. As a result, I've hardly blogged at all. There was nothing I could do, I was literally drained of all my energy. Anyway, I reached some very important milestones last week and the workload might become a bit more sane. I'm still working on some of them, sienzzz !!!!! Now I am so lazy and lost in the trees that I don't see the whole forest, completely blinded and lazyyyy.

Stupid Final

2008-05-23T01:48:00.003+08:00

WARNING ! ! ! ! ! THIS IS A RACIST POST !!!!

What a boring CL final between 2 big noobs and MU were so fuxing lucky again to be playing with such a noob team and not us LIVERPOOL ! So for all MU fans, don't be too happy - you were lucky AGAIN.

Y O U N E V E R W A L K A L O N E ! ! ! !

2008-05-18T13:33:00.002+08:00

My Wesak holiday is fuxed. I'm gonna be in KLCC Convention Centre from tomorrow onwards for 3 fuxing days, 9am - 6pm.

2008-05-16T01:59:00.005+08:00

You want goose, I give you goose. This is the first time I am actually eating a damn goose, yes for the very fuxing first time. TL brought me to this small secluded eating stall at Jalan Pasar ( KL ) and it surprised me when I saw the signboard "Goose", they actually sell goose here!

A total whooping of RM34 for 1 plate of rice, 2 drinks, 1 plate of goose and 1 goose leg tapao for my mum.

Quit Smoking Day 1

2008-05-14T01:33:00.003+08:00

One pack of Dunhill = RM8.20
One month supply of Dunhill = RM8.20 x 31 days = RM254.2

That's how much I can save every month after quitting smoking. And with that amount of money I can make good use of it, such as getting a penis enlargement. Nahh just kidding, mine is good enough ;) I was googling around and found the shits below :

Benefits of Quitting Smoking

It is common knowledge that smoking is a major risk factor for a whole range of life-threatening diseases. It is also true that even the most ardent smoker would like to quit smoking, but the addiction rules over his mind and he goes on blowing himself away in smoke. When it comes to smoking, it’s never too late to quit, no matter how deep you are into smoking. You would be surprised to know that the negative effects of smoking start reversing within as little as 20 minutes of quitting.

And this is how the body starts to heal itself when you quit smoking:

· 20 minutes after quitting: The increased blood pressure and heart beat/pulse rate return to normal levels.
· 8 hours after quitting: Nicotine and carbon monoxide levels in the blood drop by 50%. And blood oxygen level returns to normal.
· 24 hours after quitting: Carbon monoxide is eliminated from the body. And lungs begin to clear out the mucus and other leftover debris from smoking.
· 48 hours of quitting: Nicotine is completely out of your system. Your taste buds and olfactory nerves start functioning, improving your sense of smell and taste.
· 72 hours after quitting: Bronchial tubes begin to relax and breathing becomes less restrained. As a result, your energy levels increase.
· 2–12 weeks: Blood circulation improves and lung function begins to improve too, initiating the risk for heart attack to drop.
· 3 months after quitting: Fertility starts improving.
· 3–9 months: Lung function is enhanced by 10%, resulting in relief from cough, shortness of breath, wheezing and other breathing problems.
· 1 year after quitting: Risk for developing coronary heart disease is reduced to half.
· 5 years after quitting: Risk of heart attack becomes half. And the risk for stroke becomes comparable to that faced by a non-smoker.
· 10 years after quitting: The risk for various cancers (lung, oral, throat, esophagus, etc.) decreases. Yes, it takes that long for cancer risk to reduce, but the risk of heart attack becomes the same as for someone who never smoked.

This was as far as health benefits were concerned. There are other benefits of quitting smoking too that come as immediate rewards. For example:

· Improvement in the overall appearance of the skin, hair, teeth and gums
· Riddance from yellow stained teeth and fingernails
· Improvement in the wrinkled skin around the mouth and eyes
· Freedom from bad breath and stinky hair and clothes
· Relish in eating due to enhanced sense of taste and smell
· Feeling of general well being due to increased energy levels
· Increased fitness level due to improved blood circulation and lung function

Then there are overall benefits that quitting smoking brings to you and your family. These are:

· Quitting smoking adds not only years to your life, it also adds quality to your and your family’s life. Did you know that each cigarette reduces a smoker’s life by 11 minutes? This amounts to one-and-a-half days of lost life per pack of cigarettes and 2 months of lost lifespan per year if you smoke just a pack a day.
· Quitting smoking boosts your self-confidence and makes you believe in your ability to tackle hard challenges in life.
· Quitting smoking is akin to getting a pay hike; it saves you as much as $ 3000 a year if you had been smoking 20 cigarettes per day.
· Quitting smoking produces healthy babies
· Quitting smoking makes your children less prone to respiratory disorders

I am yet to see or feel anything, knn first day only wat to expect.

Announcenment

2008-05-12T16:44:00.002+08:00

I AM NOW OFFICIALLY A NON SMOKER !!!

I Am Very Down

2008-05-06T04:10:00.002+08:00

All the time I’m trying to say, well, things are looking up, but I feel just as bad. All the decisions I’ve made, all the things I've said haven’t done very well, I feel like a complete failure. I'm so tired but I just can't sleep. I miss the people that I held closest to me and that I felt like I could just lean on and cry my eyes out. I've just been sitting around all day and the gloom has not settled on me.

Joke

2008-05-02T02:16:00.000+08:00

I got this joke in my mail box, funny shits though.

Needles Are Not Nice...

Bill and Bob, two children, were sitting outside a clinic. Bill happened to be crying very loudly.

"Why are you crying?" Bob asked.

"I came here for a blood test," sobbed Bill.

"So? Are you afraid?"

"No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

As Bob heard this, he immediately began crying profusely.

Astonished, Bill stopped his tears and asked Bob, "Why are you crying now?"

To which Bob replied, "I came for a urine test!"

Shit Ass Weapon

2008-04-29T14:40:00.004+08:00

Something that I bought from Troy :

I bought it for self-protection in case shit happens but you can do many other things with it, up to your imagination ;)

Boring Meeting

2008-04-28T13:48:00.002+08:00

We've all been in one. Boring meetings. Whether it is at work or some other place boring meetings seem like a part of everyone's life. I attended my company meeting this morning. More accurately, I was imprisoned in a meeting. It lasted almost three painful hours, during which I became convinced that the laws of physics had somehow broken down and caused an actual stopping of time. It was that bad.

Meetings aren't the most exciting topic, they're important because they fill up so much of our time. My almost three-hour fun fest had the typical meeting trappings: the laptops, the coffee, the nice conference table, the opening chitchat about nothing in particular. I was supposed to be there to present and share some thoughts about my marketing plan for a particular product that I'm handling but it turned out that most of the meeting was filled with other agenda items which is none-of-my-business. I almost wanted to spill coffee on the conference table and then make little paper boat and sail it down the table. What an evil thought.

The boss did all of the talking, providing updates, sharing opinions and blah blah blah blah. Nothing interesting EXCEPT when he said, "Happy Hour with customers once every 2-3 weeks". Company bills of course ;) Everyone was lighten up immediately, "we can go anywhere?", "inclusive of girls?", "can we go strip pub?", you know questions like that popped up instantly. Now, this is what I call meeting.

The Story Of Ah Donz Again

2008-04-24T00:20:00.006+08:00

Was chatting with efun on MSN late this evening and here's the conversation :

Chris - http://www.wretch.cc/mypage/efunrox says:
eh check this out i recieve sms from donnie this evening

erimin.blogspot.com says:
wtf

Chris - http://www.wretch.cc/mypage/efunrox says:
Donz: wtf u doing in SS15? Makan Burger King?

Chris - http://www.wretch.cc/mypage/efunrox says:
efun: Are u sure is me?

Chris - http://www.wretch.cc/mypage/efunrox says:
Donz: *Car plate number* wor'

Chris - http://www.wretch.cc/mypage/efunrox says:
efun: i upgrade to a big car already la

erimin.blogspot.com says:
mahai u change car jor?

erimin.blogspot.com says:
mat 7 car?

Chris - http://www.wretch.cc/mypage/efunrox says:
Donz: erm... that's your fuxing bro in SS15? ask him to wash the fuxing car lar... Even dirtier than mine ok

erimin.blogspot.com says:
lol

Chris - http://www.wretch.cc/mypage/efunrox says:
what u wan me to reply?

Chris - http://www.wretch.cc/mypage/efunrox says:
i also donno what to say

erimin.blogspot.com says:
one word - GG

Chris - http://www.wretch.cc/mypage/efunrox says:
niama i really wan to bang ur hood friend

erimin.blogspot.com says:
tht sohai

erimin.blogspot.com says:
tht day i went subang parade have lunch wit him

erimin.blogspot.com says:
ma cau hai

erimin.blogspot.com says:
going in to the car park tht time

erimin.blogspot.com says:
I HAVE TO GO DOWN AND TAKE THE FUXKING TICKET !

Chris - http://www.wretch.cc/mypage/efunrox says:
see his photo

Chris - http://www.wretch.cc/mypage/efunrox says:
http://www.wretch.cc/blog/efunrox&article_id=11288346

erimin.blogspot.com says:
cau hai face

Chris - http://www.wretch.cc/mypage/efunrox says:
LOL

Chris - http://www.wretch.cc/mypage/efunrox says:
cannot tahan him

Chris - http://www.wretch.cc/mypage/efunrox says:
i go blog that sms 1st

erimin.blogspot.com says:
me too
It might looks blur to some of you but what we both are trying to point out and laughing our ass off is this -->
Donz: erm... that's your fuxing bro in SS15? ask him to wash the fuxing car
lar... Even dirtier than mine ok

I'd never seen Donz's car in good condition before ( excluding the first time he got the damm car )and it was never even qualified or near to be in the "clean" category. And by the way, if you are following this post you can actually see Donz hamsap face from the link my friend mentioned. Donz is the one with the most ugly hamsap face with his fingers signalling "Yo I'm the Daddy !".

Donz, we have evidence from CSI :

A Sad News

2008-04-23T01:11:00.003+08:00

I got to know that my pet sister in Taiwan was diagnosed with blood cancer. Upon hearing that, my heart dropped and I shed some tears. I am very sad and so concerned about her. I live too far from her, I'm in Malaysia and she's in Taiwan and I wish I can do something to make her feel better. Yesterday when I spoke to her, she cried and I can completely understand for a 20 year old girl to go through all these shits. She can't live a normal life, she can't go for classes, she can't sing like she used to be, she can't have fun with friends, she can't this she can't that, everything is so fuxing limited. She has to go back to the hospital every week to get her treatment. Her mum passed away because of blood cancer too and now she got it. She never did anything bad to anyone and she does not deserve this. That's how unfair life is.

I don’t know much bout her cancer, but I have learned that one day at a time is essential, and that I need to follow her lead.

Perfect Art

2008-04-19T13:37:00.002+08:00

Check the video below, this guy is awesome.

I used to draw a lot when I was a kid and now that I'm much older I still draw but in a simpler way.

World Snooker Championship

2008-04-17T14:18:00.006+08:00

World Snooker Championship, "Jimmy White" Marcus 3- "Steve Davis" TL 0
.....and this noob owed me Rm30 bucks ! wakakakakaka

Staying Late

2008-04-15T02:31:00.002+08:00

*Yawnnnnnnnnnnnn* It's only 2.30am, but I think I'll be here for a few more hours. I'm fuxing stuck at this building finishing off some shits to be prepared for tomorrow. And I'm on the fuxing 8th floor and what I fuxing hate most about staying late is taking the damn elevator down to the car park. It shits me out all the time when I'm in the lift late at nite and being alone. I got my ass in the lift, watching it goes down from one floor to another and every fuxing time the lift stops before reaching my destination I have wild imagination. Call me paranoid but I'm always afraid that the person entering would be some "thing", you know what I mean.

Sitting late in the office is making people perpetually tired and irritated but not in my case. I prefer to work late at nite, reason? Simply because I feel peaceful and without disturbance. And besides, all the bosses are not around and I can act my own version of company takeover. But still I think the best thing about staying late in the office is to terrorize the other female`s bathroom without fear of being caught. I mean come on, who the fux in the earth gonna use the female toilet at unholy hours like 2 in the morning? I have come across several jokers who work until midnight just because their companies look to get bulk of work done with the lean work force. In some offices, bosses like to sit late in the offices just to show how efficient and effective they. This puts extra pressure on the staff who also tend to stay late and don’t want to appear as those who dare to leave before the boss. Come on man, you stay late to do your work and not to pretend.

Money is important. There is no argument against it. But one should not get so dumb fuxed in the greed of it that we fail to understand that money is good only when we can have time to spend and enjoy it. Another community message brought to you exclusively by erimin. Good nite for now, and ohh before I fuxing leave this place I'm gonna unplug everyone`s computer monitors so the next morning everyone thinks there`s a major network problem. Booooooooooo-yahhhhhhhh !

Eat This

2008-04-13T15:25:00.000+08:00

Growing Older

2008-04-12T16:59:00.003+08:00

I've got a lot of friends and many of them success in their life, particularly this good friend of mine. He's heading the development team of his company, the so call Head Of Technical Development. Yah the title itself sounds cool and makes anyone with that tag looks very successful in his / her career. BUT sometimes, they got over-smart and always try to be cute in cyberworld, like MSN.

Tsiu Weng says:
yo

Tsiu Weng says:
mcb

erimin.blogspot.com says:
wow u yo-ed me

erimin.blogspot.com says:
u r a rapper

Tsiu Weng says:
dude u're hurting me man

Tsiu Weng says:
do you feel me man

Tsiu Weng says:
we're frm da hood man

erimin.blogspot.com says:
wtf do u wan dick

Tsiu Weng says:
dude ... u ain't cool

Tsiu Weng says:
wacha gettin down with yo

erimin.blogspot.com says:
dude, get a life

Tsiu Weng says:
yo yo yo ...

Tsiu Weng says:
wcha sayin ain't cool

erimin.blogspot.com says:
fux u la, i wanna go 2net liao GG

Tsiu Weng says:
why you dissing me man

Tsiu Weng says:
ain't we chillin?

erimin.blogspot.com says:
yah sux this bitch

Tsiu Weng says:
you ain't cool man

Tsiu Weng says:
you ain't cool

Tsiu Weng says:
no chill

erimin.blogspot.com says:
bye suxer

Tsiu Weng says:
you dissing me man

Tsiu Weng says:
you ain't black man

Tsiu Weng says:
you ain't black

And by the way, the asshole above ( Tsiu Weng ) is Donz. Head Of Development Team, heh bite me.

Learn How To Respect

2008-04-11T02:14:00.002+08:00

Treating people with respect makes your world a nicer place to live in, whether it's at home, at school, or out in your community. Respecting your parents, siblings, boss, partner, wife etc. also makes you a happier person. And it's easy - all you have to do is treat people the way you like to have them treat you. We live in a multi-racial country that made up of many different cultures, languages, races, and backgrounds. That kind of variety can make all our lives a lot more fun and interesting, but only if we get along with each other. And to do that we have to respect each other.

For instant, your boss always come late for work and he'll fux the shit out of you if you're late even a minute. *pause* He will never get the respect from you or anyone in the office. Lead by example. I'd probably be a hypocrite when I'm complaining about a bunch of workers whining and complaining about the littlest inconvenience at the work-place. It's WORK, you're supposed to be inconvenient all times. ALWAYS expect shit to happen and with that way, you're never disappointed. I hate the fact that people are such hypocrites. People take one hour lunch breaks, check e-mail, bring kids to work, and then complain that they're too busy to work on and review a project that was due a year ago.

Respect others with your words. For example, you hate it when people scold you "Fux your mother", then start respecting others by not saying those words first. Don't insult people or make fun of them. Listen to others when they speak and value other people's opinions. Be considerate of people's likes and dislikes. Be sensitive to other people's feelings and don't pressure someone to do something he or she doesn't want to do.

Tolerating each other is not that hard to do once you understand one another. If people can learn to communicate effectively by letting each other know how they feel and sometimes even why they feel the way they do, then it would be much easier to relate to one another. If you can relate to someone, or at least see where they are coming from, tolerating them isn't a task.

Italiano

2008-04-10T02:31:00.003+08:00

When you got a flat tyre in the morning and a traffic summon, you will eventually get pissed off and eat something like this for lunch :

Arsene Wanker & Ass-Anal

2008-04-08T10:05:00.003+08:00

Two Gunners fans are on the plane on the way to Holland.
One turns to the other and says "Hey Arthur! See if this plane turns upside-down will we fall out?"
"No way Richard," says his mate "of course we'll still be pals!!"

Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Twice.

Q: What is the difference between Arsenal and a cup of tea?
A: The tea stays in the cup longer!

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a suit?
A: The accused.

How did you enjoy your holiday in Israel?'
'Smashing!'
'Did you visit the Wailing Wall?'
'Yes - but I couldn't get anyway near it for the Arsenal supporters!

Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too!

Two men are fishing on a river bank in a remote area of the River Thames on a Saturday afternoon miles away from any radio or tv.

Suddenly one man turns to the other and says "The Gunners have lost again."
The other man was flabbergasted and said "how in the name of god do you know that?"
The other man replied "It's quarter to five."

Q: What do you call 100 Arsnal supporters at the bottom of a cliff?
A: A good start!

Q: What do you call a dead Gunner Fan in a closet?
A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest.

The seven dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in.
Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them.
In the distance a voice shouts out "Arsenal" are good enough to win the European Cup."
Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

Q: What do you say to a Gunners supporter with a good looking bird on his arm?
A: Nice tattoo

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan that does well on an IQ test?
A: A cheat.

Q: Why do housewives love Arsenal?
A: Because they stay on top for ages and come second!

Look at Liverpool. Nobody in England has been more successful in terms of winning trophies than them. So to all you Ass-anal fans out there, bid goodbye to Champions League later.

Another Boring Weekend

2008-04-06T20:00:00.003+08:00

Hopefully you didn’t notice, but I’ve been very busy this weekend. I finally took the plunge and got all the stupid documentations ready for my presentation this Monday. I woke up early on Saturday morning and went off to troubleshoot one of my ex customer's network problem and about noon went over to Cyberjaya for another Linux box case. I spent the day skimming through some of the slides and resources I’ve prepared for Monday's presentation.

Saturday night was spent wisely playing Dota with sweetie and a friend. Got all kinds of posts lined up - all kinds of notes sitting on my desk. Weird happenings lately. Just need the time to type them out. The week and weekend have just been too busy. Grrrr...it sux.

Today I slept through the whole afternoon. An interesting experience that I had to go through ;).

The Great Pretender

2008-04-03T00:58:00.003+08:00

I don’t lie about things that would hurt anyone or cheat anyone out of something. I have never considered myself to be someone that lies a lot, I've often thought of myself as someone who can be too honest ( sometimes ). I just embellish about myself all the time. I would never put up with or stay with someone who has lied to me or deceived me but sometimes I just forgive people too easily.

A friend of mine recently found out that somebody has been lying to him about almost everything he / she ( I'm not gonna list out the gender, so guess for yourself ) has ever told him. From basic shits like where he / she graduated, family background, names, photos and shits like that. And pretty much everything in between. And the best thing is, he / she doesn't even seem to feel sorry about it.

I don't know what to do with these type of species, all those lies just made me completely lost my trust and respect for him / her. He / she should be ashamed and embarrassed by what he / she has done. How does one come back from that? How does one make up for such deception? I mean come on man, it's only a yes or no - as simple as that. Why lie?

Another Lesson Of The Day

2008-04-01T02:14:00.002+08:00

I got an email from someone today, a complete shock to me.

Hi Erimin,

I have a boyfriend and I am getting married by the end of this year and to the sensitivity of our teenage situation, that makes us not just pure friends. so I am writing to you to tell you that we do not need and we shouldn't contact each other any more.

I won't contact you and expect the same from you. I won't be happy and so as my man if I did because this is the right thing to do.

if you have respected me one day, you should be happy for me and respect my wish.

All the best.

Thanks,
Someone

Yah I know it looks bad to post someone's mail here but if I don't, you guys won't understand the situation I'm dealing with. Alrite, it's a she BUT it never happen and never work out. So what's the fuzz here of NOT CONTACTING EACH OTHER ANYMORE? I was shocked. But anyway, I replied in a very polite manner. Here's my reply :

Congratulation. As you certainly know good communication is the corner stone of all interhuman relationships. If there is a need for the human element we have to be open about our interrelational communications. As I notice from your mail, it seems that some slight misunderstanding may have arisen concerning our relationship. I therefore understand your feeling of being offended and will not reciproque in the same way.

But anyway, if I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression. And If you can't say anything nice, then at least have the decency to be vague. God bless you both.

Fuxed Up Weekend

2008-03-31T03:04:00.003+08:00

I work from Monday to Friday 9am-5.30pm and I have my rest on Saturday and Sunday. I always sleep late, especially on Friday because the next day I'm not working. By the time I got up, I felt like I’d been hit by a bus. Thanks to the coffee I don’t normally drink and general wondering about a command performance, I didn’t really sleep well last night either - the whole fuxing weekend actually.

Why? Thanks to my moronic neighbor. My old neighbor played horrible old chinese music incredibly loudly on Saturday and Sunday morning during my precious hangover lie-in time. My neighbor is a bollock and love doing karaoke and she cranks the volume to full and you could probably hear it until a few houses down. It sounds horrible and keeps me up all the time. I don't care if she wants to sing as long as she is considerate enough to think about others. She maximized the volume, scream the shit out of her throat and she sings non stop - starting from 9am until 6pm. She'll stop singing for like 15minutes and then continue again, 9 fuxing hours of torture.

I have no objections to her ear-damaging antics until about this morning, but this was ridiculous. And I swear if she ever does this again, all friendly neighbourly relations will be thrown out the window.

Who could love a neighbour who is a karaoke enthusiast?

Losing The Edge

2008-03-30T04:00:00.002+08:00

I miss the old days, especially during school days. I mean back before everyone became numb-skulls. Back when you dealt with bullies by having someone bigger and/or meaner than them just beat their asses for them. A nice big dose of whoop ass is a really good cure for the vast majority of that kind of crap. The certain knowledge that what goes around comes around has stopped a good many mean ass kids in their tracks.

Those were the time when we actually played outside and when friends didn't talk about you behind your back. Days like this make you question who you can trust anymore. Unfortunately, time marches on and those days are gone. It sucks to grow up, because you get more matured. But thats how life is. I think we should go back to the old days and old ways. As a friend of mine used to say at the bar when people started scrapping: If you don’t start no shit, there won’t be no shit.

2008-03-25T02:16:00.001+08:00

Forgot to upload the videos taken at the temple I visited last month.

Kenangan Terindah - Samsons

2008-03-20T23:30:00.002+08:00

I was yamcha-ing with a colleague the other day in a malay restaurant when I heard a malay song and I found it nice. So I looked at the screen when the movie ended and managed to peep on the name of the sound track.

The Black Box

2008-03-20T02:56:00.002+08:00

This is the shit I'm selling now :

The Indon Experience

2008-03-17T23:15:00.002+08:00

I hopped in to my car after work and was approached by this old lady who looked pretty shabby. Messy clothes and wearing a "tudung" ( a scarf worn around the head by Muslim women in Malaysia; conceals the hair but not the face ). Nothing but a grocery sack.

I've heard all the arguments against picking up strangers on the road and finally I've quit doing it, but it makes me feel a little guilty to refuse an old lady who wanted me to drive her to the nearest bus stop. Because long ago when I was being exposed to a college education and going back and forth from school to home, that's how I traveled - on my thumb. So i thought when I got a steady job and a set of wheels I picked up every one who needed a ride. And moreover, she seems harmless.

She got in to my car and the nearest bus stop is like 5minutes drive away. In the car, she told me bout herself. Her late husband passed away when she was very young and left her with two kids. She's from Indonesia, in a village where food is never enough and life is tough. She's earning like RM500 every month, tell me people how much can you do with only RM500 per month. Not even enough to pay rent, foods and other expenses. She lives a hard life, very hard. We reached the bus stop not long after that and she got down from my car and thanked me politely. I grabbed her hand and gave her a RM50 note, not enough to help her but at least it makes me feel better to help.

I was very lucky to have always had food put on the table each meal, every day and never went to bed hungry. When I started to work, many times when I had no cash and one specific time I ate frozen hamburger buns. That was all I had, and another New Year Eve all I had was a pack of TomYam Maggie Mee and to tell you the truth, I was so happy to have that it seemed like the best meal I ever ate. Now that I work as a professional, I never go hungry.

We were blessed because we never went without food or other basics; we often did without extras but never food, water, a place to live, and power for lights and heat. There are still people in the world who go hungry. I don't think this is because we don't have enough to share or that we do not share; it's usually either because these folks don't live where help is easily accessible or they do not seek out help. So, be glad that you have foods served everyday.

A Boring Sunday

2008-03-17T00:06:00.005+08:00

When your friend is sleeping in the cybercafe ( like the picture below ),

you always try to cheer them up when they woke up, especially writing something creative on their monitor.

No Remorse

2008-03-10T20:36:00.008+08:00

Check out the pics below and see if you can notice anything.

Just another bad day rite? Car got knocked and yah shit happens ( and very fortunate it happens to my good friend Donz Da Man ). Now let me tell you what's wrong with the pictures. Imagine this, you are at the toll and you need to fuxing pay the toll BUT the driver's door is fuxed and you can't open it. And additional to that, the fuxing window is not working too. So you gotta climb to the passenger's seat, release the door, get your ass out from the car and fuxing walk to the other side of the car and pay the fuxing toll. Seriously, if I was queing up at the back I would probably get my ass down from my car and give him a serious fishball slap. And bear in mind, our Mr. Donz doesn't really give a fux about his car so I believe if you were to ask him why he didn't repair his car, his standard answer would be "it rox dude!".

p/s : check out the small alike Handyplast plaster Donz fuxing sticked it at the driver's door. I don't know what it was for but Donz fuxing believe it could hold the door for another 20 years. And by the way, I purposely exposed the car plate number so if you guys see this car around, feel free to bang it or at least leave him a note "You fuxing rox!".

A Brand New Day

2008-03-09T19:14:00.005+08:00

The day is almost here. Tomorrow is a big day for me. A very big day.

Starting tomorrow morning I will be working for a Datok replacing someone's ass and for some reason, the Datok, thought of me to replace him. After I told my friend that he must be joking, no one could replace the current team leader and that he should just offer him more money, he gently persuaded me that I really did have a lot of skills and experience to bring to the company.

So I will be joining TL and all the bloody amazing developers that work for the company. One of my tasks is to set up a real, proper marketing strategy and business plan for the Linux boxes we are developing. I would be monitoring the Malaysian and Thailand market, guess I'm gonna travel a lot soon.

Hope it'll go well, fingers crossed. To those that left me lots of positive vibes, thank you very much as I am currently not getting much supports yet I am feeling pretty calm and cool. Well fux it anyway, I gotta do what I gotta do.

====================================================================================

I waited for 10 years and it didn't happen. Such a disappointment. I went numb when I saw the photo today. You know who you are and I doubt you are reading this, anyway all the best to you. God bless.

Malaysian Election

2008-03-09T05:56:00.002+08:00

Don't know who to vote? Vote this motherfuxer !

For A Reason

2008-03-07T05:46:00.003+08:00

Can it really be true that everything happens for a reason? Do you guys believe that everything happens for a reason? There is significance in every event of our lives, from the most joyful and empowering to the inexplicable or seemingly unjust. After all, I personally do believe that things happen for a reason.

It took me a long time to understand this, but I now see that even in the worst fuxed up disaster there are wonderful gifts, hidden opportunities, or life-enhancing lessons. And we couldn't have gotten them any other way. If someone as hardheaded as I am can come to understand this, anyone can. For example, I wanted to play futsal in the evening and it fall thorough at the very last minute, and i discover that everything I really want is to stay at home and relax my ass.

Another instant example, I had a friend got himself into an accident. Got a broken leg and he had to spend months in bed. He is a workaholic and never give a fux about his girl friend and his love one. He thought that would be the end, particularly since it happened at a time when he had to make important decisions ( he's holding a high position in his company ). And then it suddenly hit him when I visited him one evening. He told me this was exactly what he needed. He needed a good rest. He needed a "half-time". And after he got out from the hospital, he went back to work and he is now happily married with kids.

We very much want to believe that the things that happen to us have great meaning. It's the way we feel life should be. When you discover the true meaning of the events in your life, everything changes. You feel stronger because you sense that everything has meaning gives you great confidence. You feel wiser because you see how everything connects.You're more in touch with who you are because you know that you're living the life you were meant to lead. And you're happier because you're able to put your loss behind you and have a sense of a future filled with good things.

We blame other people, and then we end up with the sense that the world is full of bad people. We blame ourselves, and then instead of feeling healthy, strong, and whole we see ourselves as sick, weak, and broken. And we blame life itself. What could be more demoralizing than feeling condemned to having bad things always happen to us and not being able to do anything about it?

As for myself, I found someone special via online games and started a correspondence with her. It was maybe few months later that I finally found out that she was special. I felt instantly connected to her. I felt like I knew her all my life. She was definitely a God-sent angel. And we all know, in every relationship whether it is boy-girl relationship, family or friendship - shits do happen. And it happen for a reason.

I had a bad year and I was back on that downward spiral to depression once again. Things in my personal life had been weighing down on me, and the stress was getting the best of me. And hence, my relationship with her went through a yo-yo time - lots of ups and down. I remember the time when I protected her from some bad ass moffo ( in game ) and I was surprise that she actually fought them back. I was overwhelmed with love and pride for her.

I am at a lost on how to describe how this so call online relationship was, only to say that they were incredibly personal and very emotional. However my experience does not end there. I still have a lot of buried negativity that needed to be released. I have so much aggression inside of me, that it was begging to be released and I am intent of keeping going until I either passed out or the burden of my emotional stress is gone. I know it's still a long way to go and If i wanna make this work, I gotta work hard for it. And I strongly believe, it happens for a reason. All the arguments, all the good times and all the things that happened...it happens for a reason.

Quoted from Piano Lady Nancy :
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there...to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never realize your potential, strength, will power or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test limits of your soul.

Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you experience can create whom you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things. Make every day count. Appreciate everything that you possibly can, for you may never experience it again.

Talk to people whom you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold you head up because you have every right to.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go out and live it.

Confession

2008-03-05T04:47:00.002+08:00

It’s confession time again, and time for a little leverage. Did a stupid thing today, i put my sun glasses on top of my head and search for it for an hour until it fell off the top of my head. Good thing there wasn't anyone around to see me. I might have found it quicker. But then again, I'm not as stupid as some punk ass who shot his own little sexy video and photos playing with his so call "girl friends".

I got nothing to write for now, time for Jack N Jills. Chow !

The Visit

2008-02-28T01:52:00.033+08:00

Visited this Buddhist temple at Jenjarom, Klang a couple of days ago. WARNING ! Lotsa pics uploaded ! I will update more pics from my friend's camera.

A Bad Start For The Year

2008-02-22T03:46:00.003+08:00

I'm going through a hard time right now and am unfortunately starting to lose faith in everything. I know I'm severely depressed and I don't know what to do about it. Work has been so stressful. Life at home has been more stressful. And lately there has been a lot of drama in my life. All the personal stresses seem to be adding up. Although I have friends, most seem to have pretty much their own settled schedules, wife, children or hobbies that don't interest me. I don't even think I understand what I'm going through honestly. I feel so lost. I don't know what to do, I feel so alone. I keep having harmful thoughts and I keep ignoring them but they keep coming back. "Go die you worthless piece of shit", that's the kinda thoughts that keep coming back to me.

And, if I may vent a little, I am completely finished with self-righteous people. To think that I used to try to please these people is perplexing to me. It will behoove you not to acquiesce to these types. I love being humble and accepting, compassionate and understanding and slow to pass judgment, but at the same time using good judgment. And if that bothers certain people, well that’s just freaking strange so who cares! To hell with you.

There is my rant to purge my soul and go on with my day.

Judge For YourSelf

2008-02-19T00:58:00.002+08:00

Found this car parked outside my CC this evening. I don't know what you call this, creative or just complete stupidity.

I Think My Job Sux

2008-02-18T00:22:00.002+08:00

I think my job sux. How do you determine the positive aspects of a work environment? Friendly colleagues, clean working environment, good boss, jack ass secretary and shits like that. I don't take the decision to quit lightly, and I don't think anyone should. Think positively, see if the problems can be fixed first - that's how I consult myself. But somehow..... I still think it sux.

I am dread going to work in the morning. I wake up and just want to get my ass back to sleep. Staying with one company can be good for my career, but sometimes I need to change responsibilities to alleviate boredom. I am putting lots of energy into the job, but not making the kind of thing that I want - satisfaction. And moreover, my company can't provide reasonable support. My boss is irrationally long-breath ( cheong hei ). He can go from point A to B by going around B, C, D, E, F and the list goes on. Better pay is nice, but really fun jobs don't always pay well. The high-paying jobs are often the most tedious, so money alone isn't everything. Ahhh damm, I missed those days working with woolfie and the gang.

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T02:06:00.003+08:00

It's Valentine again. It tortures the couple-less and fattens to pockets of flower peddlers and greeting card companies. Everywhere you look, there's disgusting mixtures of red and pink. I hate pink. I think I'm gonna rent an old and boring movie tomorrow.

Edison My Ass

2008-02-13T01:10:00.000+08:00

Whole fuxing world are talking about Edison Chen sex scandal at the moment. On the internet, MSN, work place, friends, every fuxing places I go they are talking about this shameless prick ( or pricks, since there are so many bitches involved ). Dude, fuxing get real. What an asshole.

Some assholes are born that way. But there is also strong evidence that no matter what our personality is, we all can turn into assholes under the wrong conditions. I am an asshole and so are you, don't look around - yes you are an asshole too. This happens frequently and with shocking speed and intensity when people assume powerful positions. A huge body of research—hundreds of studies—shows that when people are put in positions of power, they start talking more, taking what they want for themselves, ignoring what other people say or want, ignoring how less powerful people react to their behavior, acting more rudely, and generally treating any situation or person as a means for satisfying their own needs. What's more, being put in positions of power often blinds them to the fact that they are acting like jerks.

Being an asshole isn't just something that only happens to others and can't possibly happen to wonderful people like you and me. Puke ! All of us are at risk. As I like to say, assholes are us.
But I have identified some strategies for handling the jerk within. One way to do that is to stay away from assholes as much as possible and thus avoid asshole poisoning. But, especially if you take a position of power, there are several additional things you can do to stop yourself from turning into an asshole.

As I've mentioned before I have this group of online game friends that I've known for quite some time since I ever started playing that online game. It's a good thing in a way, knowing someone that long and treating them as family. Being that we've known each other for so long, pretty much all politenss and decorum has been chucked right out the window. But shits do happen and friends do turn to be an asshole sometimes, but in my case...it's not sometimes, it's all the time. I'm getting sick of fake friendship and ego.

____________________________________________________________________

What Not To Say To Your Valentine...
These were entries for a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line and least romantic second line:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue,sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, your eyes-Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.That's why I always wake up screaming.

Boring

2008-02-11T15:41:00.000+08:00

Got this joke in my mailbox :

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.; one from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, from Florida. They go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the government official.
And that friends, is how it all works!

CNY Day 2

2008-02-08T04:43:00.001+08:00

More donation on CNY day 2.

CNY Day 1

2008-02-07T05:25:00.000+08:00

One good way of donating and doing good deeds for helping the poor during Chinese New Year.

2008-02-07T05:18:00.000+08:00

A new hacker has been borned.

Happy Chinese New Year

2008-02-05T13:27:00.000+08:00

May the chinesse new year bring you guys freedom from worries, happiness from within, conviction of faith, strength of character, tranquility of mind, prosperity from vocation, wisdom to judge properly and spirit of universal brotherhood.

Happy Chinese New Year & Happy Holiday.

Loaning Out

2008-01-30T01:56:00.000+08:00

Something that I loaned out to my company's partner.

Another Boring Monday

2008-01-29T01:02:00.000+08:00

An exceedingly boring Monday. The weather's been pretty fuxed up, and life is on a go-slow right about now, busy as usual but still got the time to snake around. I still have to do the daily routine - wake up in the morning, work, lunch, work, dinner, shit, bath, sleep and not getting enough sleep. I wouldn't complain too much coz I am a night-crawler, but I do wish that I only need to see the sun for only a few hours everyday.

Liverpool 5 - Havant 2, that would be the only good thing that happened over the weekend. They blew Havant away and it was an excellent display. Watch out, we're gonna run the table!

Totally useless fact for the day: I think i'm fuxed up and I need to get a life.
( Pictures courtesy of liverpoolfc.tv )

Still Lost

2008-01-28T01:29:00.000+08:00

I am coming to a great big brick wall in my life. It's now heading towards like 6 years and I can't seem to get back into the swing of things. I am at a loss as to what should I do with my life, knowing this has a domino effect on what I will be and what the future holds for me. I used to be vibrant and enthusiastic about life and now worry that I've made a terrible mistake that will haunt me for the rest of my life. How do I get back on right track and make some great decisions for my future?

I feel there have been so many junctions in my life that parts of my soul might have taken flight. I view almost every situation in my life as a failure. I am also disgusted by what I see as my complete self-centeredness. I also feel that I am guilty of completely overlooking the positive things in my life and focusing on the negatives only. I can remember having a few major episodes of depression in my life. Shits just happen.

Every time when I think I got it this time, it just ain't my turn yet - I am never that lucky.

Chinese New year Preparation

2008-01-25T01:48:00.000+08:00

I got this present a couple of days ago, so I decided to put "Mickey & Minnie" beside my home desktop and the other gift hooked on my keys. Im loving it, thank you sweetie - you made my day!

====================================================================

Chinese New Year Preparation

_______________________

Of all the traditional Chinese festivals, the new Year was perhaps the most elaborate, colorful, and most important. Not very colorful for me though, people at my age would prefer to stay at home and lazy around. A friend of mine asked me today, "Oi, shopping for CNY liao ah?". Good question. CNY is like what? errmmm 2 weeks from now? Let me list down what I have prepare for CNY :

1) Annual Housecleaning - Did it last month with my parents & brother. They started cleaning every corner of the house at 12pm and I woke up at 2pm, took a brush and did some magic with it for 15minutes and then I went out ;) At least I contributed a 15minutes of hardwork. Forgiven & understandable.

2) Preparing Food - Stocked in piles of Jack N Jills & Tom Yam Maggie Instant Noodles for CNY civil war. Looks more like Hungry Ghost festival to me.

3) Shopping for "Weapons" ( THIS IS A MUST ! ) - Illegally bought a few Kick-Ass-Firework to burn down my neighbourhood & rip off some dog's ass ( human casualties not guaranteed ). Just to show other races what we Chinese are capable of doing - I still know what you did last Raya / Deepavali ! If you are now inspired to celebrate CNY, waste no time - start burning those motherfuxers.

I still remember when I was a kid, there are just sooooo many shits to be done before CNY. Now at this age, as you can see from above - I only have 3 things to prepare for CNY. That's how fast our life can be. It works like a digital camera, deleting the images we don't like and preserving only the best. Sometimes I wonder if make-believe isn't part of our human nature.

The Old Bird

2008-01-22T02:16:00.000+08:00

Another boring weekend. My home PC is fuxed and I gotta find the damm Bluetooth driver and install em at cybercafe, my only hope for internet. Anyway, I got myself into some pretty interesting food carnival over the weekend.

Visited an old makan spot with CK on Saturday. A heavenly makan spot when I was way much younger ( during secondary school ), located at my hometown Klang - Selangor. If you guys are from Klang, you should pretty much know about the old GAMA supermarket. And surprisingly, the boss still recognize me ! He went like "wahhh gia ku boh kuah tiuo lu liao hau si kia" ( wahh damm long no see you liao young man ). Introducing you, Ah Hock ABC and Wah Chai Wan Tan Mee. It was just awesome ! We used to hangout there after school and whenever chicks passed by, we do our whistle tricks.

And then on Sunday, went for steamboat ( which is also located in Klang ) with another group of friends. Tom Yam + Porridge flavour. Cost us like Rm150++ for 5 of us.

Another Tiring Day

2008-01-19T02:50:00.000+08:00

Woke up unusually early this morning to attend the SUN products training at downtown. The training starts at 9am and I actually took LRT ( train ) to downtown together with one of my colleague. I did not even know the fundamentals of taking a train. And little do I know that taking the train is so fuxing easy. The train is very full, travel in high speed and people are having loud conversations. It makes me wonder if these people have been riding together for years. The rest of the train ride was uneventful.

It took us like 30minutes to reach our destination and by the time we reached the training room, the training has already begun. I'm not gonna write about the training, I'll just sum it up into one word - "BORING". I left about 12pm and proceeded back to the train station. Took another train back to where I came from, drove my car and attend to all my appointments and the rest of the day was tiring. I'm so freaking tired right now. Both my parents are sick and with all the surrounding problems I'm facing now makes me even more tired. I foresee next week is gonna be more tiring and busy. I've been sleeping early lately, yes surprisingly and rite now....I'm heading to my bed, leaving every damn thing behind and try to get a good and peaceful sleep.

p/s : hey Susi, it's great to hear from you again. See you in Jakarta soon.

So Damn Tired

2008-01-17T20:54:00.000+08:00

My eyes feel like they’re melting. I haven't slept properly for the past few days. Too many things are making me uneasy, especially when I'm busy with work, don't have enough time for my own personal thing and missing someone so much - all at the same time.

I’m tired of many things, but especially of words. I’m tired of trying to make words do everything I can’t do. When I was younger I remember seeing people that were my age now. People that had spent their entire lives working in some corporate or organization. I remember the eyes were always flat and spark-less as if the very life had been sucked right out of them. I remember swearing that I would never look the same and I'd never become one of them.

I'm just so fuxing tired, I'm going to sleep.

Gay

2008-01-16T02:02:00.000+08:00

Something fishy happened last nite. A friend of mine confessed to another friend of mine that he likes him. The problem is, both are males! His confession included a clear indication that he was coming out to my friend out of a desire to be with him romantically. The first thing that I need to do is take a step back from my feelings of shock and confusion and try to see things rationally. This is easier than it sounds, but it is not impossible.

Being homosexual in this modern culture carries with it a great deal of social taboo and funny stuff. It is not an easy thing for anyone to have to face the type of ignorance that homosexuality is subject to in our culture, be it the person who feels they are gay, or those who care for him or her. I think that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I don't agree with anyone that doesnt accept gay people ( even though I personally don't quite agree ) but I cannot change their mind. Homosexuality is a ridiculously sensitive topic and obviously one of the most debated ones ever. If they dont like gay people, thats it, and if they are going to talk like that, then thats how they are. If they bring it up again, then leave the conversation. Debating this gets no where. I have a few gay friends, and no matter what anyone says about them I will never think differantly, and vise versa, you cant change my mind, you will not change theirs.

I don't hate people and I'd like to think I'm not judging but I guess I am. There is no place in my life for intolerance. If people want to be that way, that's fine. I don't have to like them or hang out with them, do I? If people want to turn their back on what they think is good and moral just to get along with everyone, that's fine. I personally do not like bigoted people. If I'm creating a hole in the time and space continuum because I'm intolerant of bigoted people, well that's just the chance I'll take.

Mobile Phone Magic

2008-01-14T03:05:00.000+08:00

Got this mail today and I thought of sharing it with you guys, pretty interesting ( I'm yet to try the 2nd one ).

FOUR THINGS YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW YOUR MOBILE PHONE COULD DO
_____________________________________________________________

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:

FIRST
Emergency. The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile; network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

SECOND
Have you locked your keys in the car? Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their mobile phone from your cell phone.
Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk). Editor's Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a mobile phone!"

THIRD
Hidden Battery Power. Imagine your mobile battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your mobile will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your mobile next time.

FOURTH
How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone? To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: * # 0 6 #. A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends.

Noisy Dogs

2008-01-12T04:20:00.000+08:00

I haven't been getting good sleep lately, thanks to all the stray dogs in my neighborhood for barking in the middle of the nite. Those are not just normal barking, they barked as if their ass got poked by my car exhaust pipe. It's perfectly normal and reasonable for dogs to bark from time to time, just as children make noise when they play outside. However, continual barking for long periods of time is a sign that those motherfuxing dogs have a problem that needs to be addressed.

Come to think about it, I remember an old myth told by many before - "When you hear dogs barking like a madman at nite, the Soul Reaper ( I don't know what they call it in Chinese - some bad ass demon who takes life away ) is hunting for soul". Those bad ass doggies have been singing continuously for like 3 nites and true enough, somebody from my neighborhood passed away today. Believe it or not, every time dogs here bark like an elephant somebody from my neighborhood is gonna go. This is not the first time.

Dogs can be just as sensitive as cats when it comes to sensing the unseen. I always wondered if dogs could see beings from the other world. Of course we would never know because of communication barriers. After all, dogs supposedly see things in a whole different spectrum as we do. Its been scientifically proven that dogs see in black and white, because they have more 'cone' receptors in their eyes which pick up light intensity. Also dogs have better senses of hearing and such like, I believe it to be fully possible that they can eperience the paranormal at a level that we as humans cannot.

I don't know if I'm just paranoid or is it rational? It would be easy to believe that people have come to that conclusion based on a dog’s natural behavior. We’ve all seen dogs stand still and stare or react to something we were unable to see or hear. However, there may be much more to it then that. But as for now, stop barking and let me have a good sleep.

A Great Start

2008-01-11T03:26:00.000+08:00

Feeling lazy today. I have plenty of things I should do, but I'm not doing them yet. I think it's because of the rain. Damn, don't you just loveeeee Sunday.

Dreams are made of little hopes and things you carry with you without even knowing. My dream was crushed - but i have picked up the pieces and have put it in a special place. I am lucky to have such lovely and caring parents who have taken every steps to comfort and support me when I failed. Their support and some good friends optimistic advise gave me a sense of being loved.
There is no better feeling in the world than knowing you are being loved. I truly am and I am very fortunate to have this. I am not alone. When a door closes, a window is opened. That is how i feel now. One opportunity is put on hold, but there are far more opportunities, just waiting for me to use them.

Last week I started a new path in my life, I joined a big local company as an Account Manager. I think this is the biggest step I have done because is a great company to work with and getting good bucks as well. They have incredible assets. This company has massive potential, drive, determination and skills. I now have a spiffy new title and more focused duties. I am gonna try this shit out. If you ask me, I’d say it’s a very good fit. I am energized and excited to get on with the work. It was a pain in the ass when I started my job last week simply because they didn't provide me with a computer ! I couldn't do much and thankfully my brand new HP desktop arrived last 2 days and tomorrow I'm gonna slap everyone's ass on MSN, "hey suxer I'm back !". Ohh fux no, I got an appointment at 9.30am.

There is such a difference between what you want to be and what you really are, sometimes it really scares me. I want to be true to myself, but i find that it is hard to choose between what's good and what is easy. The easy way out sometimes cannot be despised. After one of the best day at work ever, a day that left me dazed at the possibility of it all, I had some drinks with my friend at his condo. His condo is trendy and beautiful, and immaculately clean, like in a commercial, the kind of clean that makes you feel dirty even if you’ve just taken a shower.

I was admiring the design and cleanliness of the house, thinking about my new job, about what exactly I had gotten myself into and how I would be able to pull it off, when suddenly my friend asked me an interesting question. "If shits happen, can you fail and get your ass up again"?". Good question. I failed before, to the deepest of the pit. It took me a while before I turned to face him and nodded slowly. Yes, I thought, I could fail. I'm still gonna get my ass back to the track and play it hard. But then of course, I don't want to fail again this time.

“If you can still get your ass up after falling, then you are a fighter. You gotta continue the game no matter what. You still gonna wake up every morning, jump out of bed, and life is at your feet. If you can do that, you will succeed". For a moment there, I was wondering when am I gonna have the money to buy a condo like that.

Nothing To Blog

2008-01-09T02:26:00.000+08:00

Eat this :

The Salary Theory...
________________

Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time

Since:

Knowledge = Power
Time = Money
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:

Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:

The less you know, the more you make.

Courage and Bravery For Life...
_________________________

A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers.

"On a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of macho bikers who were threatening a young woman."

I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.

So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him, "Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me."

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple minutes ago."

When Time Talks...
________________

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night.

He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.

"What's with that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked. "Its not a gong. Its a talking clock", the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend. "Yup", replied the drunk.

"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it. "Watch", the drunk replied.

He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "Hey, jerk! It's one-fifteen in the morning!"

Hot Chicks

2008-01-07T03:01:00.000+08:00

I was playing my online game as usual this evening when suddenly a stranger messaged me in the game.

Stranger : Hi, how r u?
Me : Fine, who who wants to know?
Stranger : bz?
Me : yes, very bz lvling. wat do u need?
Stranger : I'm a hot girl, u wan me?

And I have her ( or him ) in my ignore list immediately. This particular stranger reminds me of one incident when I was actively clubbing a couple of years back. Here's what I can remember.

I was with a friend and some of his friends. We decided to go for some drinks in a local pub. We were walking into a bar and I had this urgency to "release", so I stopped to take a piss on a tree. Then there were these two girls walked by and gave me a sideways glance, then kept walking. I'm sure they didn't manage to take a peep at my dick. Rite after I got my business done I walked back towards the bar and surprisingly I saw my friend talking with the 2 chicks. They turned and asked us to take a picture of them, but instead of handing us a camera they just started talking to us. They were quite OK looking, and at least one had some personality, so my friend invited them into the bar with us to get some drinks and hangout. My friend winked at me and I know he's trying to tell me "Yahh baby, we are getting boogey tonite".

They were sitting on the same table as us and after 10minutes, it was painfully clear that my friend is not gonna get boogey that nite. The more I hear them talk, the more I feel like slapping all of them with a toast bread. It was so boring and those girls kept laughing hysterically over a stupid little joke by my friend. I forgot specifically what it was that finally crossed the line with one of the girls. I think it was when I said that her face looks like a porn star I came across before ( in video obviously ). And immediately she got all pissed at me. Or it might have been when they told me they went to law school, and I told them they'd have been better off getting their law degree in the toilet.

Whatever it was that pissed her off, she started castigating me and then :

Chick1 : You are so stupid, you just lost your chance with 2 hot chicks here. You think we didn't see you peeing on a tree, and then two very hot chicks walked in front of you and
Chick2 : What hot chicks?
Chick1 : US!
Chick2 : Ohhhhh, yah we are hot chicks!
Me : *Laughing like a madman* I was about to ask that question too! What hot chicks? You are the first honest woman I've met in years, enjoy your nite I'm going for another pee, wanna join? hahahaha.

They both turned ugly and I know if they ever get a chance to shoot me down that nite, they would definitely shoot it rite on my balls. After I got back from the washroom, they were both gone and I can see my friend giving me a 50cent-look "Dude! Can't you see that we almost got them! Wtf are you doing?!". And I politely answered him, "You can fux my car exhaust pipe for all you want".

My First Day At New Job

2008-01-04T03:50:00.000+08:00

Lying in bed until 8.20am is not a good idea when you are starting work at 9am. You gotta rush your ass through the shower, get dressed in a hurry and end up falling over the laundry basket before grabbing the wrong breakfast bar and end up eating only quarter of the wan tan mee. It was the case for me this morning and caused me some headache in trying to achieve a healthy breakfast.

It was a lovely, cold and rainy morning. Was it not for my mum knocking on my room's door, I wouldn’t have known that the morning arrived and kept sleeping until the moment the sun came out and realized "OMG! It's my first day at new job!". I was almost late to work but thank God, the traffic wasn't that bad and I managed to reach on time ( that was quite early according to my standard ). Imagine coming late on your first day at new job, how bad ass.

I showed up at 9am and spent the whole day doing nothing but sitting there and reading some document that doesn’t require much time to finish. My laptop is not ready, so no internet, no access to the company documents. It’s a big company and, as expected, everything is slow. My first day was something which is not relatively personal. Like any big corporation, things are done systematically. But then again, they are lacking in the sense of providing training to newbies like me. Felt the first lost of freedom in this wave of unknown blue sea. People here are busy, no time, can't talk much, can't help much, got lotsa work. Face it, the market pace is fast for IT.

The funny thing about my department is 80% of them are females, even my assistant is a female. So I'm like surrounded with bunch of females with different types of perfume, you know those smell - varieties of smell. It was one hell of a boring first day and as I was about to leave at 6.30pm, I went over to the boss's room and told him I'm off to never never land. That was a big mistake! He dragged me in to the room for a "short" conversation ( lasted 1 fuxing hour ) and he complaint about me wearing a black color tie. Seriously, I don't fuxing see the problem with wearing a black color tie. He insisted that wearing a black tie symbolizes negative appearances for someone like me who is doing business. He added that people only wear black tie when they are attending funeral. I don't know how many people agree to this but I am certainly not one of them. I got off after hearing much of his preaching, took a warm shower and relax on my bed for a couple of minutes before I went out for tea with friends. And I know, the saga will continue tomorrow .......... till then, I gotta rest my sleepy ass off now.

Genting New Year

2008-01-03T01:38:00.000+08:00

Went up to Genting with friends after the New Year countdown, check out the attached video.

Super jam rite?!!

2008 Virgin Post

2008-01-02T03:08:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is my first day at work! I don't like first days. I am sure it will be ok though. The first day on a new job is a lot like the first day of school. You have to find the bathrooms and the cafeteria, get all your supplies, meet new people, and maybe do some work. Will I be forced to regurgitate everything I learned in Marketing 101? Will my boss be an asshole? Will I be late and forever labeled a slacker?

Its my first day as an Corporate Account Manager tomorrow. I am looking forward to it, although I've not been doing sales for quite some time but I know I'll be alright. I'm both excited and nervous. I feel like I'm going to the first day of kindergarten, except that I'm supposed to know what I'm doing. And for fux sake, my mom isn't booting my bawling ass through the door.

It is really nice to be out and about doing something new for a change. My job is to service existing clients, taking their orders and trying to close more sales from them every month. And at the same time, I gotta create new accounts / clients. So basically it means that I am gonna travel a lot and lotsa entertainments. With all of the meetings and things to learn, I guess my first day will pass quickly, and I'll likely go home feeling like I have accomplished nothing. But I only have to do the first day once. I'll soon ease into a routine, and start building the career I worked towards for long years.

I was lucky enough to have strong supports from my family, friends and my love one. It's time to get real and work out on something. A brand new year, brand new vision, brand new hope and a brand new job. I know I'm not only working for myself but also for my family, my love one and my future. Till then, it's time to chiao or I'll be late to work tomorrow.

Last Post Of 2007

2007-12-31T10:15:00.000+08:00

When the clock strikes twelve midnite today, people all over the world cheer and wish each other a very Happy New Year. For some, this event is no more than a change of a calendar. For others, the New Year symbolizes the beginning of a better tomorrow. So, if you look forward to a good year ahead, spread happiness with these wonderful New Year wishes.

A brand new year is here, another year filled with expectations, resolutions, fears and forecasts. A year that will dissapoint many, surprise some and make a few really happy. My sincerest wish is that everyone will be happy, and share a moment of joy, peace and understanding. I wish you all a joyous new year. May God's richest blessings be yours.

2007 Wrap Up

2007-12-28T14:23:00.000+08:00

Another year is coming to an end. 2008 is upon us in a few good days . Another year to work, laugh, cry, another year to eat and shit more, another year to reach for those goals and dreams, another year to fall in love and another year for me to fux it up.

I personally think my "2007" was fuxed up. A year of grinding long hard hours, desperation, pressures and confusion. I expect 2008 to mirror 2007 but with more fux up stuffs. Some of the things and memorable events that I have gone thru 2007 :

1. Went for my first ever medical checkup.
2. Quit the job that pays me well.
3. Fux a cop on the highway.
4. Nigel's wedding.
5. Trying to quit smoking.
6. My cousin's wedding.
7. Donz free Jap dinner.
8. Colin Mcrae is dead.
9. Rejected an oversea work offer.
10. Stucked in the lift for the first time.
11. Got a funny birthday gift.
12. Missed out Napalm Death in Malaysia.
13. Ah Ros in town.
14. Edwin's wedding.
15. Incoming ads from Nuffnang.
16. Still waiting for StarCraft 2
17. Still fail to find Alaska crab in Malaysia.
18. Ranked 4 in the online game I'm playing ( MP school ).
19. Lost big bucks during Chinese New Year.
20. A fuxed up Christmas.

It is amazing to see how fast the days turn into months and the months turn into years. I learned a lot in 2007. Never trust anybody! Trust yourself and no one else. Remember one thing is nothing, make 2008 yours because no one else will, in fact you owe it to yourself. So, lets have a fuxtastic year 2008 ahead !

I Just Love Christmas

2007-12-26T05:15:00.000+08:00

What a boring Christmas! No party, no gifts, no where to go, no one to go out with, nothing to play, nothing to do. I'm sitting here in front of my dektop at this unholy hour. I was here yesterday at this time as well. And, I'm sure I'll be here tomorrow. And, what am I doing? NOTHING! Been waiting for someone's reply but no news for hours, there are nothing much to do and just too many problems to settle which I am lazy enough to do anything about it.

My life is boring. Christmas just seems like another pent-up day that will hold nothing but small annoyances and too much arguments. I think I am fuxed up. Sometimes I ask myself whether I am still myself or if I have become an entirely different person. Am I still the one I used to be, with all my egos and confidence? The answer is I don't know. I really don't know. Although some things have changed. I used to love loneliness, to be completely alone. It made me somewhat happy. Although I still love the rare lonely moments in my life but hey come on, who doesn't want the companionship of the girl they love.

I still think that my life doesn't make much sense except for fuxing things up and being a real asshole. But on the other hand, I see a lot of my friends they have someone to love, someone they can really trust in, someone who doesn't want them to wear their daily life mask, someone they trust so much that they can be sure she will take care of their heart even if they are sick to death, someone who does not love their masks but their true inner self. Damn, that's one hell of a huge difference with my life.

I have become someone else. I have been obsessed by something. I can feel the presence of the evil, all the anger and all the chaotic anarchism raging inside my head, as strong as it has ever been. I have become so unpredictable. Ok fux this, think I'm a little drunk. Just had 5 cans of beers.

Anyway, wish everyone a merry Christmas and enjoy your holidays. And don't drink too much ( *gulp gulp gulp* ), yah don't drink too much *burrrrrRRrp*.

Fux this, what a senseless post!