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Saturday, December 31, 2005
H a p p y N e w Y e a r Happy New Year everybody and remember, dont drink and drive....drink and get laid Explicitly Yours [2:24 PM] Friday, December 30, 2005
Sayonara 2005 I've been feeling a bit tired lately stave it off all we want, but age will still get to you eventually. Don't worry, though! It's just the seasons changing. I remember when the chicks were hot, dressing up for clubbing. Things sure do change, don't they? Year 2005 has not been a great year for me, ill just sumz up the goods and bads : The Top 10 Goodies 1) Found back my car. My car was stolen and found back a month later. 2) Successfully downloaded a couple of good porn vids from puretna.com. 3) Mum never caught me for pissing without locking the door. 4) Never got rape. 5) That short tambi at the mamak i used to hang out never charge me for ais kosong anymore. 6) Escape from car accident(s). Seriously, im lucky enough to be still blogging now. I wouldve been smoking weed with Bob Marley now if i wasnt lucky. I like to drive fast, see my problem. 7) Getting younger *wink* 8) Met 421342 chicks this year. 9) Donz ( read my previous post about this asshole ) still cant beat me in Dota ( Defence Of The Ancient - a Warcraft custom map ). Fucking google it if you have no idea what's Dota. 10) My blog still running. You lucky bastard. The Top 10 Miseries 1) Credit Card bill outstanding. 2) Car Loan outstanding. 3) Streamyx outstanding. So donate money or whatever ( money to be practical ) so i can continue blogging. I am just "outstanding", dont you think so? 4) Never get to meet ( wank actually ) Angelina Jolie yet. 5) Not achieving my 1 million ( im still -1 million at the moment ). 6) Open up my wallet and say "AaaaaaaaahhHHHh" ( excited not because too many cash in it but left a dollar note ). 7) Yet to pay any deposit for my dream car. 8) Bills ! 9) Bills ! Bills ! 10) Bills ! Bills ! Bills ! Tiu mou ? [11:44 AM] Thursday, December 29, 2005
202nd Merseyside derby : Everton 1 - Liverpool 3 Eat this sucker ! Goals from Crouch, Gerrard and Cisse are enough to shut you Everton-ians ass mouth up. Liverpool dominated the game from early on. Steven Gerrard headed a throughball to Peter Crouch for the opener after 11 minutes, with the striker rounding Nigel Martyn before stroking the ball home. The lead was doubled through Gerrard, whose shot from the edge of the area left Martyn stranded after a deflection off Joseph Yobo. James Beattie pulled a goal back with a header after Simon Davies' overhead kick, but Djibril Cisse sealed the win with a wonderful run and finish two minutes into the second half. Referee Graham Poll sent off Phil Neville and Mikel Arteta - both for two bookable offences - as the game started running away from Everton in the second period ( what a loser ! ). We are now 4 points behind 2nd placed Manchester United and with 2 games in hand ( watch out u horny devils ! ). And by the way, Real Madrid ( The Gala-tikus ) has just signed Brazillian defender Cicinho. Yah buy more famous players and lose more. [1:24 PM] My First Time Can you believe this, 2006 is coming.... hard for me to believe its almost a year. Its 3.15am and im still awake, gonna watch the Liverpool - Everton at 4am later. So, what im gonna blog at this unholy hour is my "first time". Yah dont act cute here, you know what i mean by "first time", not getting spank in the ass of course but spanking *you know*. This is how it goes....my first time : We went in to the house and sat with our friends. We were all watching tv in the lounge, and we were lying together on the couch, she was lying behind me, and she placed her hand right on my cock. She could feel it through my pants already starting to become erect! She breathed deeply in to my ear, and asked me if i wanted to go upstairs. Of course i acepted. We were only 16 at the time, and we went in to my friends bedroom. She lay down on the bed, and i went to the bathroom to sort myself out. When i returned she was there on the bed naked as anything fingering herself. She was running circles around her clit, and then going deep inside moaning with pleasure. She asked me to come closer, when i got closer she pulled my pants down revealing my Godzilla dick. She instantly locked her lips on it, it was the best blowjob i had ever had. Her tongue massaged my shaft and cam up and played with the head! Her siliva was running down my dick, and it was turning me on. I could see her pussy dripping wet. When i was close to cuming i asked her to stop. I went down on to the bed and put her legs over my shoulders, putting my tongue inside her virgin pussy. It was tight as hell. We were both virgins and this was going to be one hell of an experience. She started to orgasm and she grabbed my head pulling it in to her pussy as she squirted her juices all over my face. I brought my head up and she smiled at me. She told me she wanted to fuck soo much. I told her we didn't have any condoms. She said she was on the pill and since we are both virgins we wont get an STI. I said ok and my hard dick got even harder. I wanked it a little to eaze some pre-cum out to help with her tight virign pussy entrance. She moaned at me to hurry up! I placed my dick at the entrance to her cock, rubbing her clit covering it with my cum she moaned with the feeling. I placed my dick at her pussy lips, and started pushing it in. I pushed it in a little deeper and then brought it out and kept doing this until i was all the way in. She moaned with pleasure and her juices were leaking all over the bed, it wasn't even mine! She grabbed my bum pulling me closer to her, as i went deeper yet again with my dick, and fucked her hard. She was now screaming with pleasure, luckily they had the tv on loud downstairs. we were in the missionary position and the feeling of our bodies together was soo good i could not believe it. And her tits were rubbing against my chest everytime i went in and out this added to her pleasure. She orgasmed several times nearly sending me over the edge but i managed to hold in. I pulled out of her pussy, and she said she wanted my cum all over me. I placed my dick inbetween her two tits, and my pre-cum soaked them making them very well lubed up! I fucked her tits and then, a sudden rush of cum, i was having my best orgasm ever! I came all over her with at least 7 squirts of high powered come. Of course now i was spent. But she pulled me down making my lay on top of her, the feeling of her cum soaked tits on my body and the feeling of my stomach on hers made her orgasm yet again! I stood up my stomach and chest was drenched in cum! I told her i was going for a quick shower. Oh my god i have always wanted to do it in the shower.Half an hour later i was ready yet again. i was drying myself off from the shower when she walked in (the door didn't have a lock). She stripped off again bringing my dick to a hard state! She told me to get back in to the shower, and with that i dropped my towels revealing my dick, and got back in to the shower. She massaged body gell all over us both. I was nearly coming with her hands simply roaming around my body. I told her that i loved her and that i wanted to fuck her right now. She said i am feeling the same. With that i lifted he up in my arms, and placed my dick inline with her pussy, i lowered her down and she screamed with pleasure, i told her to keep the noise down because the music from the tele was quieter now! She grabbed my neck and pulled herself up fucking me hard. I went so deep inside her i thought i was going to come straight away. She gripped tight with her pussy, making me shout with pleasure, oh fuck me oh fuck me now hard faster oh my god yes i shouted. Then i shouted oh my god i am going to cum. She kept going, she said i am on the pill remember dont worry. I came so hard inside of her and our juices dripped down on to my feet but soon got washed away from the shower water. We got out and cleaned up and went back downstairs and watched tv with the biggest smiles on our faces! Enjoy it? Yah fuck you, i wouldnt write my first time here and share it with you guys. mUuahahaHAHHAhaahah [3:10 AM] Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Liverpool 2 - Newcastle 0 As predicted ! I was predicting 2-0 or 3-0, heavy boat always sink *wink wink* Everyone was expecting Owen to score but hey come on, Carra and Hypia are not Selangor defenders ! Welcome back King Owen and sorry we have to stop you from scoring. The first goal from Gerrard on the 14th minute was awesome ! Liverpool deserved more for their dominance, and hit Newcastle with a sucker punch on 43 minutes when Crouch climbed to meet a Harry Kewell cross and saw Given touch the ball onto the post, only for it to rebound in off the keeper. Sorry Mr.Given own goal, 2 nil up. The game erupted on 66 minutes when Bowyer fouled Xabi Alonso, having looked to have been fouled himself seconds earlier.Crouch pushed Bowyer to the ground and players from both sides rushed to the flashpoint. "Tiu nia mah hai Bowyer", "hamkaling , u wan some ah?!", "ma cipet you !!!" are just some of the standard EPL language flying across at that moment. Referee Mark Halsey eventually sent off Bowyer and showed Crouch a yellow card. Bowyer, you just cant grow up dont you. Remember how this sucker bitch slapped his own team mate Kieron Dyer and started an Ultraman Vs Godzilla scene last season ? If i have a face like Bowyer, ill sue my parents. [11:16 AM] Saturday, December 24, 2005
m e r r y c h r i s t m a s Merry Christmas everybody [11:46 PM] Friday, December 23, 2005
Merry Christmas Here's a little joke for christmas. Before and After Children BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the opportunity to vacation in exotic foreign countries so I could experience a different way of life in a new culture. AFTER Children: I am thankful to have time to make it all the way down the driveway to get the mail. BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the Moosewood Vegetarian cookbook. AFTER Children: I am thankful for the butterball turkey hotline. BEFORE Children: I was thankful for a warm, cozy home to share with my loved ones. AFTER Children: I am thankful for the lock on the bathroom door. BEFORE Children: I was thankful for material objects like custom furniture, a nice car and trendy clothes. AFTER Children: I am thankful when the baby spits up and misses my good shoes. BEFORE Children: I was thankful for my wonderful family. AFTER Children: I am thankful for my wonderful family. Merry Christmas everybody and enjoy your long weekend holiday. Remember, dont drink and drive..... drink and get laid ;) [9:02 PM] Christmas eriminpedia So you know 25th of every December is a holiday ( you sure know well about holidays ) but do you know what exactly is Christmas all about? eriminpedia quotes : 1) What is Christmas? Christmas is a holiday, yes a fucking holiday, observed in most of the world on December 25, celebrated by christians to mark the birth of Jesus. 2) Why do people give each other presents on Christmas day? Because they are rich ! The tradition of gifts seems to have started with the gifts that the wise men (the Magi) brought to Jesus. As recounted in the Bible's book of Matthew, "On coming to the house they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshipped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh." 3) Why is there a small evergeen tree in your living room? This is a German tradition, started as early as 700 A.D. In the 1800's the tradition of a christmas tree was widespread in Germany, then moved to England and then to America through Pennsylvanian German immigrants. 4) Who is this Santa Claus moron? According to the Encyclopedia Britannica, Santa Claus started with a real person, Saint Nicholas, a minor saint from the fourth century:
Nicholas' reputation for generosity and kindness gave rise to legends of miracles he performed for the poor and unhappy. He was reputed to have given marriage dowries of gold to three girls whom poverty would otherwise have forced into lives of prostitution, and he restored to life three children who had been chopped up by a butcher and put in a brine tub. In the Middle Ages, devotion to Nicholas extended to all parts of Europe. He became the patron saint of Russia and Greece; of charitable fraternities and guilds; of children, sailors, unmarried girls, merchants, and pawnbrokers; and of such cities as Fribourg, Switz., and Moscow. Thousands of European churches were dedicated to him, one as early as the sixth century, built by the Roman emperor Justinian I, at Constantinople (now Istanbul). Nicholas' miracles were a favourite subject for medieval artists and liturgical plays, and his traditional feast day was the occasion for the ceremonies of the Boy Bishop, a widespread European custom in which a boy was elected bishop and reigned until Holy Innocents' Day (December 28). After the Reformation, Nicholas' cult disappeared in all the Protestant countries of Europe except Holland, where his legend persisted as Sinterklaas (a Dutch variant of the name Saint Nicholas). Dutch colonists took this tradition with them to New Amsterdam (now New York City) in the American colonies in the 17th century. Sinterklaas was adopted by the country's English-speaking majority under the name Santa Claus, and his legend of a kindly old man was united with old Nordic folktales of a magician who punished naughty children and rewarded good children with presents.
5) Why are there oversized smelly socks hanging on your mantel? According to a very old tradition, the original Saint Nicholas left his very first gifts of gold coins in the stockings of three poor girls who needed the money for their wedding dowries. The girls had hung their stockings by the fire to dry. Up until lately, it was traditional to receive small items like fruit, nuts and candy in your stocking, but these have been replaced in the last half-century by more expensive gifts in many homes. The tradition of a lump of coal in the stockings of naughty children comes from Italy. [12:18 AM] Wednesday, December 21, 2005
iPod headphones may damage hearing Music lovers are being warned that the popular 'earbud' headphones worn by users of iPods and MP3 players could lead to hearing loss. The warning comes from Dean Garstecki, a Northwestern University audiologist and professor, who said that because earbuds are placed directly into the ear, they can boost the sound signal by as much as six to nine decibels. "We're seeing the kind of hearing loss in younger people typically found in aging adults. Unfortunately, the earbuds preferred by music listeners are even more likely to cause hearing loss than the muff-type earphones that were associated with the older devices," Garstecki said. The audiologist claims that he has known students to listen to music at 110 to 120 decibels. "That's a sound level that's equivalent to the measures that are made at rock concerts," said Garstecki, "and it's enough to cause hearing loss after only about an hour and 15 minutes." Copyright © 2005, ElectricNews.Net erimin's Believe It Or Not - You Suka. [4:27 PM] Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Slow and steady Im a fast driver, i get so freaking piss off whenever im speeding on the fast lane and some morons just enjoy going like 60kmph right in front of you. And the best thing is, even if you're tailgating them..they dont seem to give a fuck about you and continue enjoying their Jackson Five tunes, shaking their bloody head like they just got slapped by kingkong, and stepping softly on their gas pedal ( as if you step hard on it, its gonna go kaboom ). And when you highlight them, they'll start to look at the rear mirror with his 10-years-never-had-sex kinda look. And if you're a fast driver like me, remember this - DO NOT FUCKING HORN THEM ! Some Schumacher like them might just brake the shit out of it and you're gonna spend your next couple of hours looking at his enviromental friendly face. So all i can say is, if you wanna drive slow....then puhhhhleaseeeeeeeeeee go to a slower lane and not the FAST one. If you see a fast car behind, then tune your brain to a higher IQ, get your ass off from the fast lane and when you're done, you can tune ur IQ back to low. [11:15 PM] Monday, December 19, 2005
All About Ah Donz This is not "All about ah long" story, this is about Donz. A moron i've known for 20 fucking years since the age of 7. More about him at donnieng.blogspot.com I got to know him when i was 7. Ok, so this is how the immoral story goes. I was anxiously waiting for my school bus at the school entrance, and you know when you're a kid you get damm excited whenever you see something new or kinky to play with. There it is, right in front of me a big pile of sands ( like those you saw when the Egyptians built their pyramids ) so i got curious and excited with that pile of shits ( sands i mean ) and started to explore it. And here comes the gay, while playing with the sands...i felt a strange presence. Somebody is actually enjoying watching me with the sands, and when i turn my head over.... THERE it is, donz with his pervert smile and he started his griveous line..."can i join?" ( looking at me like the fuck i owe him a Playboy magazine ). If he were to ask me this now, ill definitely slap him away with a cheese burger, instead...at that young age i accepted his proposal and we started to play sand together ! yes fucking sand. From there, he started to ask me hell lotsa question ( like those cops taking statements ) such as "where do you live dude?", "what does your parents do for living?", "are you a gay?" <--- heheheh dont be suprise donz already know what's gay at this young age. Continuing from there, we started to venture this little tiny world together. My brother was a state chess player and i was inherited with this skill as well. I started to represent my primary school from Standard 3 onwards, and believe it or not.....3 years in a roll, i was the town team and invididual champion ( much better than chelsea ). And guess who's in my team, yes u got it right....donz the man. We were so seriously into chess that we actually attended all major and minor tournament locally every weekends ( we never came back empty handed ). So, after completed our primary school we move on to secondary school and still own the local chess scene. Another 5 consecutive years in a roll , team and individual champion ( Form 1 to Form 5 ). My trophies at home are countless and i even throw away some of it, taking too much space for my porn VCDs. And oh yes, donz is still in the team. Even after all this fame, we still find we are lacking something....something more adventurous, something more kinky, something more sexy. And it was then, Guns N Roses ( a legendary rock band ) caught our attention and gave us a new vision. I told donz, im gonna play like Slash ( Guns N Roses guitarist ) and we're gonna rock the crowd. And there it goes, the story of my band Damage Inc. ( you can read my posting on Damage Inc. ) And after all these shits we've been together, 20 fucking years we are still together. I cant blog down all the shits we've been through, hell lots of em ( like Rebecca *wink wink* donz, cockroaches, "the immortal" blah blah blah , the list goes on). And if you are reading this post, a big shout out to you - ME AND DONZ ARE NOT GAY !!!! So ladies, take some time to understand our macho Donz and again, he aint no gay ( lucky you ). If you're interested in meeting him up, i can arrange a romantic meetup for you guys. Closing the chapter for "All About Ah Donz". [7:45 PM] Sunday, December 18, 2005
A letter to santa Hi sexy, I've heard of you for a long time Santa, i used to believe that you actually exist when i was small ( you and your 4-legged horny deers ). Can you actually fly like superman ? ( except that you dont wear the red undie like he did ). Ok fuck you santa, you dont exist. Im a grown up man now and i realized you are just another monstority marketing strategy. I've always love christmas, its the only day in the year i actually feel the peace. If you are for real Mr. Santa, i would love you to fullfil my below wishes ( yes more than one, im greedy ) : 1) Cure Charlotte's mum cancer. 2) Make me a rock star. 3) Bring peace to the world ( how kind am i ). 4) Liverpool win the league continuosly for the next 100 years ;) ( goodbye Chelsea ). 5) Say, if you can make my car goes up to 400kmph i would be more happy than having 10 times orgasm with Angelina Jolie. 6) And finally, yes the main present.....*grins evilly* you know what i want white beardy. A MILLION IN MY BANK ACCOUNT !!!!! There it goes, if its not too much for you to put up a little stunt in there and grant my wishes, feel free to mail me or call me directly. Till then. [10:00 PM] |
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