for those about to rock, we salute you:
AKA :
erimin
Email : erimin@yahoo.com
Location : Malaysia
Age : Who wants to know?
Want-To-Meet List:
Eddie Vedder ( Pearl Jam )
Steven Gerrard ( Liverpool FC )
Linus Torvalds ( Linux Creator )
Angelina Jolie ( she r0x ! )
Want-To-Go List:
Lollapalooza
Seattle USA
Woodstock Festival
Chat :
Links:
Ah Ros
Bennar
Donz da Man
Wing Loon
Simon & Jun
Efun
If i were President of the world
I have decided that, for the betterment of man kind, I should be president of the world. I may not have any political experience, and I may not seem like the most likely candidate, but I think I can do it. Below is my list of qualifications.
All sissies will be slapped around with Ayamas chicken
Tired of cry babies ruining everything? Tired of hearing about superficial law suits that happen because some people are too stupid to breathe on their own? Tired of hearing people whine about being offended and getting their feelings hurt? Well in my administration, as President of The World, one of my minions (yes I would have minions) would carry around a softball bat size log of Ayamas chicken. Anyone caught whining would be summarily beaten with said giant tube of Ayamas chicken. Sissies don’t deserve to be bludgeoned with real lunch meat.
My Secret Service would be an army of ninjas
To hell with having an elite protection force that attempts to blend in with low grade business men. My secret service will be nothing but ninjas. They will dress like ninjas. They will carry nunchucks, swords, and guns like ninjas. Most of all, they will kick ass like ninjas. If you were even thinking about stepping up to me, my elite team of ninja ass kickers would tear you a new asshole.
I would be a fighting president
Sick of seeing higher ranking people sending out the lower level personell to fight wars? Well once I am declared president of Earth I will kick ass along side the average joe. Of course seeing as how there will be no more war on Earth, the next place we are going to war with will be Mars. We’ll show those filthy red planet bastards. And once we conquer Mars, we’ll move on to Saturn. There is something in those rings, I must have them!!!
My Vice President Would Rule
This is something that I have been debating heavily. Who should be my vice president? Considering all of the options I have narrowed it down to two possibilities: An Asshole or A Hot Chick. Obviously everyone can see the comedic value in having an asshole as a Vice President. There’s lots of height jokes that can be made on late night tv, and if I ever run out of places to rest my cocktail, I can use his flat head. However, The Hot Chick, I mean come on, HOT CHICK! I can use her as eye candy to distract the martian scum and then whoop their asses with wicked style. This one’s tough, I’ll let you vote on it.
I will not censor anything
Tired of the government telling you what you can and can’t listen too? Well I refuse to censor anything, that’s right, television and radio will be uncensored. I’ve been fed up with parents not doing their jobs as parents and expecting the government to step in for them. Once I am president of the world deciding what is morally decent for your kids will be your job, not mine. Don’t want them to see sex, then don’t let them watch it. Offended by what you hear on the radio, then change the station. I, on the other hand, will enjoy finally seeing wrestlers cuss at their opponents, and I am axiously awaiting Fear Factors “all naked playmate” episode. *scrumptious*
I will issue licenses to hunt Britney Spear
I’m fucking fed up with Britney Spear. How many times does she have to be brought up on main page. As PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD I will issue hunting licenses spefically for Britney Spear. I think that the death penalty takes too long, but I am willing to give her a sporting chance.
I will create another moon
Now while you may be thinking that this will fuck up tidal stuff, and throw the earth of it’s axis sending us plummeting directly into the sun, you’re wrong. Also consider, what other President has ever been able to successfully create a whole new moon? NONE! How am I going to accomplish this you ask? How can you possibly create another huge piece of flotsam floating out in space, orbiting our planet? Simple. My good friend, Donz, has a huge head. By huge, I don’t mean abnormally large, I also don’t mean mishapen and disgusting. Donz has a nice round head, it’s just gargantuan. One time when we were driving , he turned his head too quickly and caused a seventy-two car pile up. Nuns ran screaming from burning busses, four boy scouts never walked again after that day, and I am pretty sure his head killed a puppy. So, for the safety of all involved, and because it would be neat to be the ONLY president to create a new moon, I am sending Donz’s head into space.
Now I understand that many of you may have questions so I have created a FAQ for you to reference for the time being.
Q: Where will this new Presidential Estate be located?
A: The Playboy Mansion
Q: What is your philosophy on foreign policy?
A: Look stupid, I am PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD, there are no more foreigners. Except for those filthy Martians, and oh how they will pay!
Q: Ninjas? Really?
A: SHIT YEAH!!!
Q: What kind of car will you drive, as President of the World?
A: The Batmobile, duh.
Q: When should groveling or ass kissing begin?
A: No need, I am a benevolent leader. Do you have a hot sister?
That’s all the questions I have received so far. If you have a question, or you just want to voice your support for me becoming PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD just leave a comment.
Thank You
Let’s kill them filthy martians!
erimin
P.S. Don’t forget to vote for Vice President.
[3:38 PM]
World's Longest Shit
This morning i had a stupid conversation with a friend on MSN. While chatting halfway, i got this nature's call...a big one. You know after you shit, normally you'll just aim for the flusher and flush the shit out of it BUT before you flush em all to hell, consciously or not...you actually peep at the shit. And as for my case, i actually keep track on the length of those "thrown-out". I dont mean measure with ruler la of course knn, just a rough measurement. It was 10cm this time, 8cm shorter than my best record. So this friend of mine actually suggested me to Google who has the longest shit in the world AND i did. And guess what, this world champion actually beats the shit out of my 18cm.
World's Longest Shit - 26 Feet
OMFG !!! Can you believe this !!! Yiakssssssssssssssssssssssssssss !!!!!!!!!!!
[3:06 PM]
Some good tips
TIPS FROM USA POLICE
This is a good reminder for all of us. You can never Read this too many times!
1. Tip from police: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
2. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your Wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet or purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their car after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their check book, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
5. A Few Notes About Getting Into Your Car In a Parking Lot, or Parking Garage:
A. Be aware: look around you; look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
(And check out under the car as you approach.)
B. If you're parked next to a big van you should enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ, RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women? He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby cry recorder and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they heard baby cries outside their doors ! when they're home alone at night. Please pass this on! and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby.
Another community message from erimin.
[10:14 AM]
Im tired of working
For a couple years now I 've been blaming this feeling on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.
Malaysia’s population is now about 22.8 million. The people of Malaysia come from a number of different ethnic groups mainly – Malays, Chinese, Indians, with the indigenous Eurasians and the indigenous Orang Asli of the peninsula and the various tribes of Sabah and Sarawak making up the remaining population. Approximately 85% of the population lives in Peninsular Malaysia and the remaining 15% in Sabah and Sarawak.
11 million are retired. That leaves another 11 million to do the work. There are 5 million in school, which leave 6 million to do the work. Of this there are 2 million employed by the federal government, leaving 4 million to do the work. 1 million are in the Army, which leaves 3 million to do the work. Take from the total of people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And you're sitting at your computer reading my blog.
[4:14 PM]
Happy Birthday
Happy birthday to the CC gay partner, Chong & Chin.
[9:54 AM]
Johor Flood
Hey friends,
> Have you heard about the story regarding the flood in Johor, about the
> mythical sea-dragon creature? After being told by my mom, I went
> online to read more about it, and hopefully to find some pictures of
> the mythical fish. And below is what I have found.
> "Someone told me that about 2 months ago a fisherman from Johor caught
> a very unusual sea-creature that resembles a little sea-dragon. A rich
> Datuk offered the fisherman RM5000 to buy over this sea-creature to be
> place in KLCC Aquaria but was turned down by the fisherman.
> Subsequently this sea-creature did not survive in captivity of the
> fisherman about 2 weeks ago. Then, came the big flood. This
> fisherman's house together with thousands of others suffered loss as
> a result of the flood. Then just last week the fisherman and a few
> other Chinese people went to a Chinese Temple in Johor with the hope
> that the medium for guidance about their situation.
> And do you know what the medium said to these people.
>
> He said the flood was as a result of the death of that sea-creature
> happens
> to be the offspring of "Hoi Loong Wong" (King Neptune's offspring).
>
> The fisherman should have freed the sea-creature instead of keeping
> it. It has brought upon bad karma to the entire Johor region. I
> believe the discovery of the sea-creature 2 months ago was covered by
> the Chinese daily papers.Mythical curse or Act of God?"
>
> Heard that there is going to be a 3rd flooding during CNY, and it is
> supposed to be the worst. I'm wondering how true it is.
You guys buy this story? Suck my cock la ! photoshopped image ! I wonder why people so free to create all this stupid nonsense and spread it around.
[5:42 PM]
Chaos AD
Got this email from a friend and as usual mails like this they normally asked you to forward it, so i thought i might as well post it here.
5 suspect wanted by police & they are believed to be involved in robbery & murder cases in Jinjang & other places in Malaysia.
Victim now reported coma in GH.
Whoever with information please contact 03 - 404 55555
RakanCop 03 - 211 59999 or SMS 32728
Look at the world we live in now, what a mess. I got a friend who got "gangbang" ( not the "sex gangbang" that you are thinking ) by a group of kids ( at the range of 16-19 ) couple of days ago. Simply because he was drunk and accidentally stared at them, the next thing he knows...those kids got up and beat the shit out of him. Not too serious but he got his Brad Pitt face turns into Whoopi Goldberg in a matter of seconds. And worse still, the next day he has to pay "angpow" ( compensation ) to them ;) WTF?!!! he got beat up and yet he has to pay them?! So, fight crimes my dear friend.
[12:25 AM]
Latest accessory for women
Latest Grill Accessories These are a must have!
[1:31 AM]
Income Tax
Tiu lor got my income tax statement last few days. Why do all shits come together at the same time, my road tax and insurance are expiring as well. One hell of a combo. Come to think about it, you have any idea where all our taxes go? Government projects, building new highway, sending some of our Malaysian asses to space, Malaysia Boleh, Vision 2020....just to name a few.
Part of it goes to those bad ass moffos in prison. You work, earn the shit out of it and they are locked up in jail. In case if you ever got the two mixed up, this should make things a bit more clear.
IN PRISON...they spend the majority of their time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK...we spend the majority of our time in a 6x8 cubicle.
IN PRISON...they get three meals a day.
AT WORK...we only get a break for one meal and we pay for it.
IN PRISON...they get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK...we get more work for good behavior.
IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for them.
AT WORK...we must carry around a security card and open all the doors for ourself.
IN PRISON...they can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...we get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON... they get their own toilet.
AT WORK... we have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.
IN PRISON...they allow their family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...we can't even speak to our family.
IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK...we get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from our salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON...they spend most of their life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK...we spend most of our time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
IN PRISON...they must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK... they are called managers.
Still wanna pay your tax? Nia beh eh.
[1:14 AM]
Fux It
Cant come out with any good skin, so fux it..im gonna stick with this first. How the fux do i get rid of the "Links" on my top left? Darn.
[10:38 AM]
New skin in progress
Working on a new skin for this site, stay tune.
[11:08 AM]
New Skin !!~!~!~!
Yaa ba da baaa doooooo, new skin !! What do you guys think? Leave me Cbox plz.... i need comments thx.
[1:50 AM]
No Pork !~!
Got this video from a friend, enjoy ;)
No Pork At All!~!
[2:00 AM]
Hard The Herald Angel Sing
Taken at Neway KTV One-U, wakakakakaka a new star is born !! Victor AKA MissJapan.
[11:17 AM]