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erimin
Email : erimin@yahoo.com
Location : Malaysia
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Monday, December 31, 2007
Last Post Of 2007
When the clock strikes twelve midnite today, people all over the world cheer and wish each other a very Happy New Year. For some, this event is no more than a change of a calendar. For others, the New Year symbolizes the beginning of a better tomorrow. So, if you look forward to a good year ahead, spread happiness with these wonderful New Year wishes.
A brand new year is here, another year filled with expectations, resolutions, fears and forecasts. A year that will dissapoint many, surprise some and make a few really happy. My sincerest wish is that everyone will be happy, and share a moment of joy, peace and understanding. I wish you all a joyous new year. May God's richest blessings be yours.
[10:15 AM]
Friday, December 28, 2007
2007 Wrap Up
Another year is coming to an end. 2008 is upon us in a few good days . Another year to work, laugh, cry, another year to eat and shit more, another year to reach for those goals and dreams, another year to fall in love and another year for me to fux it up.
I personally think my "2007" was fuxed up. A year of grinding long hard hours, desperation, pressures and confusion. I expect 2008 to mirror 2007 but with more fux up stuffs. Some of the things and memorable events that I have gone thru 2007 :
1. Went for my first ever medical checkup.
2. Quit the job that pays me well.
3. Fux a cop on the highway.
4. Nigel's wedding.
5. Trying to quit smoking.
6. My cousin's wedding.
7. Donz free Jap dinner.
8. Colin Mcrae is dead.
9. Rejected an oversea work offer.
10. Stucked in the lift for the first time.
11. Got a funny birthday gift.
12. Missed out Napalm Death in Malaysia.
13. Ah Ros in town.
14. Edwin's wedding.
15. Incoming ads from Nuffnang.
16. Still waiting for StarCraft 2
17. Still fail to find Alaska crab in Malaysia.
18. Ranked 4 in the online game I'm playing ( MP school ).
19. Lost big bucks during Chinese New Year.
20. A fuxed up Christmas.
It is amazing to see how fast the days turn into months and the months turn into years. I learned a lot in 2007. Never trust anybody! Trust yourself and no one else. Remember one thing is nothing, make 2008 yours because no one else will, in fact you owe it to yourself. So, lets have a fuxtastic year 2008 ahead !
[2:23 PM]
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
I Just Love Christmas
What a boring Christmas! No party, no gifts, no where to go, no one to go out with, nothing to play, nothing to do. I'm sitting here in front of my dektop at this unholy hour. I was here yesterday at this time as well. And, I'm sure I'll be here tomorrow. And, what am I doing? NOTHING! Been waiting for someone's reply but no news for hours, there are nothing much to do and just too many problems to settle which I am lazy enough to do anything about it.
My life is boring. Christmas just seems like another pent-up day that will hold nothing but small annoyances and too much arguments. I think I am fuxed up. Sometimes I ask myself whether I am still myself or if I have become an entirely different person. Am I still the one I used to be, with all my egos and confidence? The answer is I don't know. I really don't know. Although some things have changed. I used to love loneliness, to be completely alone. It made me somewhat happy. Although I still love the rare lonely moments in my life but hey come on, who doesn't want the companionship of the girl they love.
I still think that my life doesn't make much sense except for fuxing things up and being a real asshole. But on the other hand, I see a lot of my friends they have someone to love, someone they can really trust in, someone who doesn't want them to wear their daily life mask, someone they trust so much that they can be sure she will take care of their heart even if they are sick to death, someone who does not love their masks but their true inner self. Damn, that's one hell of a huge difference with my life.
I have become someone else. I have been obsessed by something. I can feel the presence of the evil, all the anger and all the chaotic anarchism raging inside my head, as strong as it has ever been. I have become so unpredictable. Ok fux this, think I'm a little drunk. Just had 5 cans of beers.
Anyway, wish everyone a merry Christmas and enjoy your holidays. And don't drink too much ( *gulp gulp gulp* ), yah don't drink too much *burrrrrRRrp*.
Fux this, what a senseless post!
[5:15 AM]
Monday, December 24, 2007
My Christmas Wish
I wish you all the joys of the season. Wish you and your family a Merry Christmas, may God shower his choicest blessings on you and your family this Christmas. Enjoy your holidays !
====================================================================
Lord I pray for abundant blessings upon my family. They are my number one and it is such a joy to me and I truly love them deeply. Keep all of them healthy and watch over them. It is your precious blessing that we are a family and for this gift I feel blessed.
Lord bless the little girl as she is such a special blessing in my life. Send an angel to let her know how much I love her and how much I miss her. Lord bless her and her family. You have given her wonderful gifts and she is a blessing as well. Let her know she has someone that will and do love her unconditionally and will never leave nor forsake her. Let her know she will not go through tough time alone, and that I want nothing from her except the chance to love her.
I pray this in the name of the Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
[6:45 AM]
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Santa Claus Is A Woman
I think Santa Claus is a woman. I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!
For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Aiyak-Still-Early-La Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.
Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Toys R` Us products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.
Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended.
Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.
Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
* Men can't pack a bag.
* Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet, it makes them look like a pussy.
* Men would feel their masculinity is threatened having to be seen with all those elves.
* Men don't answer their mail.
* Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
* Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
* Having to do the "Ho Ho Ho" thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up chicks.
* Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
I can buy the fact that other mythical characters are men but not Santa Claus. As long as we have each other, good will, peace on earth, faith and Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas Song," it probably makes little difference what gender Santa is. I bet 50 bucks, Santa is a fuxing woman!
[5:18 AM]
Friday, December 21, 2007
S M I L E
Something that makes me smile.
[7:15 AM]
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Pen-Test
It’s raining and gloomy out there. I’m feeling pretty jaded right about now. I've been working for like what, errmm... 8 years? yah somewhere there. I personally think the most memorable job would be as a penetration tester. I’m sure a lot of you have not heard about penetration tester. Some of them call themselves pen-tester, some Tiger, some white-hat hacker, whatever. I used to work for this UK company as Penetration Tester ( also known as Hacker ). Our customers are all English companies and our job is to hack in to their system / servers / etc , write a report on how we got in, propose solutions / recommendations to enhance customer's security, play Warcraft, sleep and drink lotsa coffees. Penetration testers and used car salesmen have virtually nothing in common - except that both may end up giving you something other than what you expected.
When people asked about my profession, I would politely answer them "I am doing penetration testing" and they would go "huh?! wtf? u "penetrate" girls everyday ah?". So the next time if someone tells you "hey im doing pen-test" or "im a penetration tester", he / she is not a pornstar or involves in the porn industry in any way. Here's what Mr. Wiki has to say :
Penetration test
_____________
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A penetration test is a method of evaluating the security of a computer system or network by simulating an attack by a malicious user, known as a cracker (though often incorrectly referred to as a hacker). The process involves an active analysis of the system for any potential vulnerabilities that may result from poor or improper system configuration, known and/or unknown hardware or software flaws, or operational weaknesses in process or technical countermeasures. This analysis is carried out from the position of a potential attacker, and can involve active exploitation of security vulnerabilities. Any security issues that are found will be presented to the system owner together with an assessment of their impact and often with a proposal for mitigation or a technical solution. The intent of a penetration test is to determine feasibility of an attack and the amount of business impact of a successful exploit, if discovered.
I am no longer working as a professional pen-tester and currently selling eggs at market. Amen.
[3:53 AM]
Sunday, December 16, 2007
My First Medical Checkup
For the first time in my life, I went for my medical checkup a couple of days ago . But niama with that check up, I’ve spent more than 3 hours in the process. It’s a part of the process for the application of my job in a local company here. My friend dropped me off at the clinic, which was located in SEA Park, PJ.
Fear is the one and only thing in my mind. The fear of facing the possibility of negative results. What if I got cancer? What if my balls aren't working? But anyway, I registered myself at the registration counter. First thing off, they asked me to urinate, piss that is, into a small bottle ( you know like those Brand's Chicken Essence bottle ). So I went to the toilet and tried to get a good angle and piss rite into the small bottle. I really appreciate the existence of my penis. I can only imagine how cumbersome it is for women to give an urine sample. After pissing off in there, I walked out from the toilet and headed back to the reception counter while holding the jar of still-warm urine walking in front of all the waiting patients. For some reason, I had this evil thought - I wish I tripped and sprayed the urine all over the patients wakakakakakakaka, drink this suxer !
The next activity, I was asked to go to the X-Ray room. The nurse ordered me to undress my shirt and my shoe, yah looks exactly like those in porn movies. I gotta stand still with both my hands behind and lean forward to the X-Ray device. "Breath!!!", the nurse shouted and I gotta breath like there's no tomorrow. A short 10 seconds x-ray shot. After the X-Ray scanning, the nurse took my height and weight.
Waited another 30minute before the moment of truth, time to face the doctor. It was a lady doctor, probably in her early 50's. She started to ask me some crappy questions and at the same time examining my eyes, ears, throat and skin. For some reason, I like the experience of the doc poking my bare chest with the cold, hard stethoscope. Then there was a eyesight check and blood pressure.
And finally, I waited my report for another 15minutes. Guess what. I am in PERFECT CONDITION ! Everything is normal and the biggest surprise would be the last X-Ray result - "Lung Clean". Duh ! Think I'm, gonna smoke more from now on. Ho ho ho ho Merry Christmas.
[6:36 PM]
Friday, December 14, 2007
Marriage
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
-David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
-Hemant Joshi
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
-Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
-Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
-Anonymous
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
-Henny Youngman
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-Sam Kinison
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
-James Holt McGavran
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.
-Patrick! Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
-Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
-Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
-Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
-Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
-Anonymous
[8:06 PM]
Monday, December 10, 2007
Dont Play With Fire !
Most kids are curious about fire. Often what begins as a natural exploration however can lead to a fuxing tragedy. Fire is fast. In less then 30 seconds a small flame can get completely out of control and turn into a big fat ass major fire. Unfortunately most kids don't think about what could happen. In some cases, children set fires out of more then curiosity. This group of children are often classified as 'juvenile firesetters', that is, they use fire in a way that is dangerous or not approved by parents.
Be smart - do not play with fire. Don't ever fux around with fire, it'll burn your ass. But the fire I'm trying to say here is not the "fire" that I just mentioned - it's the "fire" deep within me. There is one thing I dislike, and that is when people start being a nuisance when it comes to my life and assuming things that had never happened at all in the first place. Assumptions were never real and lies were never good either. A combination of both kills because it fires up the innocent individual to an uncontrollable stage and later on, fires the flamer or anonymous back.
So, to my dear esteemed readers whom I have bonded well enough with, this post is not dedicated to any of you and please do not think that I’m being a real jackass but my patience has its own limits. I'm a fuxing human with feelings too.
Some moron tried to be an ass by assuming others with mockery that is not even qualified to begin with. I am never an ass to be writing an open post about these matters, but my patience is running low because it involved everyone and those in my group, who currently is not in a good position. And my ass is undeniably got dragged into this mess due to these 2 brainless morons. I am keeping my profile low but I think it's time to do something bout it. It's the right time to be nasty and burn all these motherfuxers to hell.
[4:11 PM]
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Learning English
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France… Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese? One index, two indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."
It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP ; look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .
We could go on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so... Time to shut UP!
Oh... one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?
U-P !
[2:13 PM]
Monday, December 03, 2007
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
It’s that time of year again, and Christmas is just around the corner which symbolizes the biggest shopping day of the year. YEaaaaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaaaa. For decades, human being has been spending hundreds, thousands or even millions on Christmas shopping season. So, how was mine? Pretty damm good for someone who could have a lot to be not thankful for. I’m not going to dwell on all that though because I’m broke and not gonna buy expensive present this year and I’m generally the type that complain too much.
Blurry-eyed from insomnia, dedicated shoppers leave the comfort and warmth of their bed and home to brave the pre-dawn cold in hope of arriving close enough to the front of the line to take advantage of doorbuster deals of extremely limited in quantity merchandise. A day off work has been booked, and you have set your date for Christmas shopping. As you prepare yourself, you make a mental map of the shops you will visit and the best place to park the car. Humming your favourite carol you set out on your venture. Then the Christmas imps call in the gremlins and you are faced with "knn, what to buy?". As for me this year, it's not "what to buy", it's "how much?"- I'm freaking poor for now.
It doesn't really matter what you buy, the wrapping is more important. Buy a soap or a condom and wrap em up in a box with newspaper. Wrap em over and over with newspaper, say like ermm.... 40 layers of newspaper - the more layer the more impressive it'll look. When you are done, wrap the last layer with a beautifully look wrapper and hook it up with a Christmas card.
And whose idea is this? I don't know, I got this Christmas present a couple of years ago. I got a fuxing soap wrapped with like more than 50 layers of newspaper and I was so happy at first that the present was so BIG !
Come to think about Christmas shopping, damm I hate it for some reasons. Your parcels are always twice as heavy and bulky than you expected, there is always some morons ahead of you in the queue who is paying with a combination of gift vouchers and couple of cents, the toddler in the pushchair behind you will throw its bottle and catch you just behind your knees, there will always be a small child spreadeagled on the floor in exhaustion or mid-tantrum. Fux all these, I'm going to prepare my Christmas present list now.
[5:49 PM]