"Open up and say AAaaaAhhHhh!!!~!~"

It happened when I was around 14 years old. I used to play a lot of football during school time and my brother happened to be a school player. So one decent morning, i joined my brother and the rest of the big guys to play football at a field near my house. As expected, i was positioned in the defensive midfield ( Steven Gerrard's ) position since i cant drible like Ronaldinho or score marvellous goals like Thierry Henry. Ahh come on, i was only 14 and imagine those guys on the field are double my body size ! Ok cut the crap, back to the real story.

I remember there was a time when one of them actually miskicked the ball and the ball landed at a rubbish site. My brother was the nearest one to the ball and so he ran over to pick up the ball. The ball was stucked in the middle of those rubbish and so my brother landed a Bruce Lee sidekick on it. God knows how many innocent parasites died from that undisputed malicious sidekick. Running back with the ball, he then continued with the game. I'll condense the time to night ( you dont wan to hear the rest of the boring crappy football game story ).

Now things will change drastically. As we were all sleeping soundly ( i remember i had a dream about Angelina Jolie that time ), suddenly we heard a loud window breaking sound. *Pianggggggggg* We rushed out to see what the fuck was going on and for the first time in my life, i saw my brother sitting on his bed with a super green pale look like Shrek, uncontrollable chills and sweating like Nigeria Fall. He even broke the windows next to his bed. My mum then rushed towards him and asked what was wrong. He was dumbfucked for a couple of minutes before he could talk with us. He then told us he saw 2 figures, one wearing all white gown and the other all black ( some sort of Hell's Guardian in Buddhism ) dragging him away from his bed ( probably trying to lure him down for a hot drinks ). Damm i couldnt really fully believe that he was seeing this apparition!

The next day, my mum was advised by an old man ( the so call parapsychologist ) with some knowledge of this sort of activity to held a small praying session. After visited the crime scene ( football field ), the old man theorized that there was some God's offering in that rubbish site. The old man told us it was the Bruce Lee's sidekick that causes all these mess. Dont fuck around with parasites! After some prayers and offering, my brother regained back his Mr. Sidekick title. He was back to normal, he could eat, shit, sleep and play football!

I dont fucking understand who would have thrown those offering so recklessly. If those offerings are meant to be holy, why the fuck is it in the rubbish site at the first place? It could fucking cost a human life! Why cant these fuckers offer or throw their goods in a safer place. Whenever i see these offerings on the road side, ill fucking give it a sidekick! I do it the Jet Li's style.