"Open up and say AAaaaAhhHhh!!!~!~"

There's nothing quite like the shock of the alarm going off in the morning. For most, it signals the arrival of yet another dreary day of work. For some, like me, it heralds the tragic end of what was probably a poor night's sleep: late nite Dota-ing, drinking session, DVDs, porns and soccer. Many of us prolong the act of getting up by repeatedly hitting the snooze button until we accidentally turn the damn thing off. Why do so many alarm clocks greet us with sadistic, high-pitched screeches? Is there a better way to wake?
I have 2 alarm clocks BUT i can never get up, i cant even hear the fuxing alarm sound ! I was thinking to get one of this. Sonic Boom Clock and Bed Shaker, nasty eh? If this alarm clock fails me, then im gone....im off to never never land. This is what i found from Wikihow ( How to wake up on time ) :

1) Get enough sleep. It’s hard to drag yourself out of bed after one night of inadequate sleep, and chronic sleep deprivation (a sleep deficit) makes the task even harder. Determine how much sleep you need and make sure to get about that amount each night.
Yah i sleep at 3-5am and my working hour starts at 9am, blow me !

2) Get into a rhythm. Your body’s clock follows a circadian rhythm. If your rhythm is set properly, you may be able to regularly wake up refreshed without an alarm, but if it’s not you’ll wake up groggy or even sleep through your alarm altogether. Make an effort to get to bed and to get up at about the same times every day. If you work changing shifts or otherwise have to adjust your schedule, your rhythm will be thrown off for a while, but you can reset it over a few days.
Until an entire generation can be trained in such way; the current group of assholes like me shall be known as the Awaken One.

3) Adjust for your sleep cycles. The typical human sleep cycle is 90 minutes. Adjust the time you wake up or the time you go to bed so that you sleep for some multiple of 90 minutes (6, 7.5 or 9 hours, for example), and you’ll wake up more refreshed.
Now this is a good one.

4) Sleep well. Eight hours of sleep won’t help you much if you don’t get quality sleep. Minimize disturbances that may wake you up in the night:

* Get a comfortable bed ( mine is a single bed, God damm great bed ! )
* Set your thermostat so you’ll sleep at a comfortable temperature ( balls got la, thermo my balls )
* Reduce external noises by closing windows, turning off the TV, or using a device that generates constant “white noise.” ( my PC is on 24/7 downloading porns, is that noise? )
* Consider getting a larger bed or sleeping in separated beds if your spouse or partner wakes you up with his or her tossing and turning. Better yet, get a mattress that absorbs motion and will not be felt by your partner. ( im still single but i welcome any chicks to sleep with me ;p )
* Abstain from caffeine and alcohol, especially at night. ( alcohol? NOooooooooooooooO )
* Read the related wikiHows for more tips on getting to sleep and getting quality sleep. ( none working for me )

5) Get the right alarm clock. Some people need a very loud, harsh alarm, some can’t wake up to the radio, and some find that gradual waking works best. Experiment to find the alarm clock that’s best for you. ( hell yah im getting this ).

and fux the rest of the tips, way too long for me to crap here. Everything looks more bad ass when commented by me.