"Open up and say AAaaaAhhHhh!!!~!~"

I don't usually post funny things on here, mostly because I feel that my anxiety isn't funny. I also am hesitant to put anything controversial on here because of my SAD nature. I very much so want everyone in the world to like me. If Heaven forbid someone didn't than I would have to spend forever analyzing why and what I needed to do to change their opinion. Thats how I have always been and probably always be. Middle of the road, happy go lucky, be nice to everyone. However I do think that its nice to be able to laugh at yourself every now and then. Otherwise we stay in our self awareness nit picky judgmental attitudes right?So since I have been working a lot and am getting tired of it, I can use a laugh.

Ive been under lots of stress. But lately ive been feeling sick too, my throat has been sore and my stomach hurts alot too. Is it stress or is there something wrong with me?

Believe it or not, the online game i'm playing is causing more stress than my real life job. I would describe this game-play more explicitly as a second full-time job. After becoming a guild leader I found that I had taken on a second full time job. It was way too much work. The single toughest thing about running a guild is managing people. It can quickly turn into a serious job. You have to referee disputes, come up with events, loot rules, and organizational structure, recruiting. In short, running a guild is a lot of work, just like managing people in a real life position. The toughest thing about being a guild leader is finding the middle ground between all the members, and being able to keep the group entertained at the same time. Being a guild leader is like being a manager at work, only without the paycheck. It's frustrating but rewarding to lead a group and see it function and grow, but it's a pain in the rear more often than not to get it to that point.

I do not regret it at all although I doubt I will do it again anytime soon: I am leading this guild which mean I am indirectly touching over 100 people, maybe up to 150 if you count the not-so-active people. I was definitely having an impact on the server as I always brought up conflicts and difficult situations that players might encounter while playing at the meetings, to make sure our members roughly shared similar policies, and obviously, so many people roughly sharing the same rules would have an impact on the other 1500-2000 people on that server. The toughest thing about being a guild leader is that it is really a job, managing all the conflicts and it takes huge amount of time and you receive no thanks for it.

I have given everything. I don't know if i'm up to the par but i did my best. You can't clap with one hand, the other hand has to cooperate. Being very tolerance and getting no feedback at all is just so fuxing disappointing. I just can’t take it anymore. There’s a certain stress level that I can take before getting so depressed over stuff.

This is not a pity post nor am I creating any drama over this nor am I trying to be humble, I’m just telling you what I feel since I am so fed up in reading how undeserving I am, whether directly or implied. At least this come from me which is easier to swallow anyway.

I know, this site is full of crappy and stupid posts which is important to me, which enables me to take out the stress, sadness, loneliness, anger or whatever negative feeling I have. I am with you in saying that there must be some mistake here. Right now, I just wish i have someone to talk to but then again - dream on.