"Open up and say AAaaaAhhHhh!!!~!~"

I know it's an old movie but I just watched em like 2-3 weeks ago with a spastic friend, Donz. I normally don’t go to the cinema simply because I am an asshole and I support pirated DVDs, as simple as that. After my salary offered up a sufficient enough cash bribe I agreed to watch it with Donz. After sitting through and sleeping for ninety minutes of the worst movie ever made, I swear to God I gotta review this movie. And not only the movie. I'm gonna risk myself of going to jail for reviewing this movie.

OK so, Ironman is an ass kicking robot blockbuster, they tell you how great robots are and how they can fux up the world nicely. I don't know how many are yet to watch this show but if you haven't watch it, this post is gonna be a spoiler so don't yell at me with your wet vagina and don't bitch at me like Donz. The storyline is pretty simple, it's about this rich ass genius Tony Stark being kidnapped by terrorists and forced to build a bomb that can even destroy Godzilla with one click. And while he was building the bomb unwillingly, he actually built a robot suit - a real kick ass robot suit, a route for him to escape from all these gay terrorists. He completed it in time and managed to kick the shits out of everyone and got his ass back home safely, with the help of the robot suit of course. I think MacGyver also lose him la.

The show continues as we watch Tony Stark develop a new super armor with the assistance of his super advanced Adobe Photoshop software and his comic relief robot helpers. And he has a hot assistant too. Robot helpers and hot female assistant – looks like Santa’s getting an updated list from one blogger asshole this year. While he’s building his new kick ass suit of armor Tony Stark finds out that the same gay terrorists that kidnapped him have gotten their hands on a bunch of Stark Enterprise weaponry and he decides to take matters into his own hands. So he jumps in his robot suit and flies to the Middle East in around six minutes. From Los Angeles! Nia ma, I wish I have that suit. He got his ass to the Middle East in 6 fuxing minutes and rape the holy piss out of a bunch of terrorists and then he fights a tank. Yes a fuxing tank. A robot fights a motherfuxing tank. If you’re not sprouting some sort of physiological sign of being horribly aroused (hard nipples, raging boner, moist in the crotch – take your pick) then you’re probably not human. Come on leh, a robot vs a tank! Get excited a bit!

He fuxing rape the tank with a single knockout and then you can see him leaving cooly ( with a rock song playing at the background ). It's time to go back LA for some beers and skirt chasing. Once he is back in America, the bad ass guy found Tony Stark’s prototype armor that he left in the Middle east during his escape and decided to reverse engineer that into his own version. So we have a situation here, so far our Ironman escaped the terrorist kidnapping, rape the terrorists and save mankind, one hit KO a fuxing tank and now he has to fight his own kind but a bigger size robot than him. That’s like defeating Godzilla and just as the celebration orgy breaks out, Godzilla’s mother comes around the corner, distraught over the death of her child and puts a serious cramp on his ass.

Ironman won obviously, thanks to his sexy assistant. And rite after the show, Donz as usual with his spastic attitude ( can't blame him though ) looked at me with an evil smile and chanted "I am Ironman".